That girl
by AnneValkyria
Summary: Jace Lightwood knew what he wanted the second he lay eyes on Clarissa Frey. Now he just needed to make her realise that. AU/AH OOC. MAYBE some Lemons (don t get that part... But anyway)
1. Chapter 1

This is my first ever Fanfic, so please be kind. Because english is my second language, I will apologize for my spelling in advance.

And of course I own nothing.

Prologue

6 y/o

Jpov

_The first day I met her was when she moved in to the house next to ours. Mom had told my siblings and me that our new neighbours had kids in our age, so we were really excited, looking forward to new friends. As soon as the movingtruck left we climed over the fence._

_Walking around to the back of the house we noticed a boy, hair so pale it almost looked white, kicking a ball against the wall with a bored expression on his face._

"_Hi," said Alec, being the oldest, he saw himself as our _leader. _"We´re your new neighbours. I´m Alec, and this is Jace and Izzy," he pointed to us while stating our names._

"_Jon" was the boys only respons._

"_Hi, Jon, " Izzy said with a smile, showing off the gap between her front teeth. "Do you have any brothers or sisters? I hope you have a sister. It can be boring with only boys, and I really want a girl to play with..." she ranted._

"_Breathe", Alec muttered but she ignored him._

"_Yeah, I got a sister. She´s over there, somewhere," he gestured to the trees in the back of the garden._

"_Oooh, great," Izzy was jumping up and down. "What´s her name?"_

_Something sprakeld in his eyes "Clarissa."_

_As we walked over to the trees I looked around, trying to spot a girl with whiteblond hair, thinking they must look alike, just as Alec and Izzy did. But, what caught my attention on a branch in one of the trees, was e small girl with freckles all over her face and hair the color of fire. _This _was the other boys sister? She was the prettiest girl I´d ever seen._

"_Hi," I spoke before Alec had a chance."I´m Jace, and this is Alec and Izzy. You must be Clarissa."_

"_Ugh," the girl responded. "_No one_ calls me Clarissa. I hate that name."_

_So that´s why Jon had that look in his eyes when he gave us her name._

"_What do you want us to call you?" Izzy asked beside me._

"_Everybody calls me Clary," the girl, Clary, answered._

"_Well, I´m not just anybody," I smiled _that _smile, the one mom always said would get girls in trouble when I grow up, what ever that means. "I don´t want to call you Clary," I paused, thinking "I think I´ll call you C."_

_She looked at me, for what felt like forever and then nodded. "Okey," she said. "You can call me that." She took a firmer hold on the branch she was sitting on and started to lower herself down._

"_Wait, let me help you," I placed my hands around her tiny waist. _

_The feeling of my hands must have startled her, she lost her hold and fell, taking me down with her, knocking the air from my lungs._

_She jumped to her feet, brushing of her clothes, she had grass stains on her knees. "Look what you did," she screamed. "You´re an idiot"_

"_I was just trying to help you," I mumbled as I stood up, just to fall back down when she punched me._

"_I don´t need your help, Jace" she stormed off, fuming._

_Mom aked us what happened when she saw my bloody nose_

"_Who did this to you, Jace?"_

_I smiled "I just met the girl I´m going to marry"_

8y/o

Cpov

_I almost dragged mom to the game store. I was finally going to buy the game that I´d been waiting for _forever._ It was released two days ago, but this was the first day mom had time to go to the mall with me._

_First I thought they´d sold out, and was about to explode in one of my patented tantrums, when I saw it. It was the last one so I ran as fast as I could and got my hand on it at the same time as another hand did._

"You", _I tried to put all my resentment towards my nextdoor neighbour in my voice._

"_Yes, C. It´s me", he smiled that damn smile of his._

"_What are you doing here?" _

"_Buying this game," he said and started pulling it out of my hands, which only made me hold on to it more._

"_No, you´re not! I am!" _

_We started an furious tug-of-war with the game, pulling it back and forward between us._

"_Let go, Jace, or I´ll punch you again" I yelled, causing the other costumers to stop what they were doing and stare at us._

"_Maybe I´ll punch you back," he retorted and tried to pry open my fingers._

"_You wouldn´t," I gasped. "I´m a girl."_

"_Try me," that same stupid smile again._

"_I hate you, Jace Lightwood" I screamed._

"_Children, children,"our mothers interrupted us. "Calm down."_

"_He´s stealing my game," I pouted_

"_You live next door to eachother," my mom said. "Why don´t you share it+"_

_I eyed her suspiciously "Share?"_

"_How?" Jace asked, seeming to consider the idea._

"_You could have it every other day. Or, go over to eachothers houses and play together," his mom suggested._

"_Hmm...What do you think,C?" Jace asked. "We could play at my house, we have a bigger TV"_

"_Can I bring Simon?" I asked. Simon, my former neighbour, was my best friend._

"_Sure"_

"_Ok, fine," I wasn´t overly excited about the idea, but realised that it was my only option._

"_Wow. You´re really good at this," Jace said, clearly impressed._

"_I know, you´re not so bad yourself," I complimented him reluctantly._

"_Want to be best friends?" he asked, eyes still on the TV screen._

"_Hey, what about me," Simon complained._

_I looked over at him where he sat on the floor, playing monopoly with Izzy and than turned back to the TV._

"_I could give him to Izzy, I guess," I suggested._

"_Great," Jace looked att me and smiled, _that _smile, and fo the first time since I´d met him I didn´t find it annoying._

_That was the start of an - not so - beautiful friendship._

10 y/o

Jpov

_A noise outside my window woke me up. I checked my alarmclock and groaned at the time. 3 am. Who in the he... hrm... could it be this early? The looked in moms eyes when I cursed even made it hard to do it in my head._

_I got up from bed, pulled the curtains aside and could bearly make out the shape of C, standing on the ladder dad used when he painted our house, wearing only a worn Metallica t-shirt._

_I quickly popped the latch and helped her inside._

"_How very Dawson´s Creek of you," I joked._

_When she didn´t answer i looked at her. Tears were slowly trickling down her freckled cheeks. I´d never seen her cry before._

"_C?"I asked, alarm clear in my voice. "What´s wrong?"_

"_They´re fighting again,"she whispered. "Can I stay with you?"_

_I was stunned. C never asked anyone for help. _Ever.

_We all knew her parents faught all the time. He...ck, we could hear them. Her father was a large man, and he always seemed to be angry. It got even worse after Jon´s death, in that hit-and-run accident, almost two years ago. He never actually hit either of them, but shoved them around a lot._ _Without a word I went out to the linnen closet to fetch an extra blanket and pillow._

_When we were lying next to eachother in bed I pulled her close to me and whispered "You can stay as long as you want."_

12 y/o

Jpov

_We were lying on my bed watching X-man, for maybe the thousandth time. That´s the best thing about C, she likes _good_ movies, not chickflicks._

"_Wolverine is really hot," she said, eyes plasterd on the screen were the man in question showed off his naked chest. "You know, for an older guy."_

"_Hello, you´re twelve!" I stared at her. "He´s old enough to be your dad. Besides, he´s an douch, for moving in on Cyclops girl like that!"_

_C just shrugged. "She should obviously be with Wolverine. He´s more of a man..."_

_I looked down at my scrawny chest and skinny arms. I was as far from being manly you could get. The thought mad me angry._

"_So cheating is okej if the other guy is more manly? God, you´re such a slut!"_

_She jumped off my bed and walked for the door. ""You´re an idiot, Jace! I hate you!" she slammed the door behind her._

14 y/o

Jpov

_I sat on Cs bed, watching her get ready for her first date with Sebastian. I´d tried to get her to cancel, but she wouldn´t have it. _

"_How do I look?" she asked, spinning around in fron of me._

_I let my gaze trail over her petite body. She wore a green shirt, that matched the colour of her eyes, and a black plaited skirt, that ended at her knees._

_I sighed. "Beautyful, as always."_

"_Aww..." she cocked her head to the side, smiling, "you always say such nice things to me."_

_I shock my head. I could get any girl I wanted, so why was it that _this_ girl could turn my insides to pudding with only a smile. Why was this girl, the only girl I _couldn´t_ have, the only one I wanted._

"_C.."I started, "you really shouldn´t go out with Seb. He´s not a good guy." I tried to make her understand, to listen. "He´ll only use you. It´s what he does to all the girls."_

"_So... what you´re saying is that he´s just like _you_?"_

"_Yes", I was glad that she finally seemed to get it. "Wait..._no_. I´m not like that"_

"_Whatever, Jace" she glared at me. "He´s _your _friend. Shouldn´t you be happy for us?"_

" _I wouldn´t let him anywhere near my sister." I took her small hands in mine, pleading for her to hear me out. "He´s a total ass when it comes to girls"_

_She tore her hands from mine and took a step back._

"_Well, Jace, I´m _not _your sister. I like Seb, and he likes me. Do us both a favour and stay the hell out of my life."_

16 y/o

Cpov

_I raised my hand and knocked quietly on the windowglass, greatful that the ladder still rested on the same spot as when we were kids, even though it´d been _years _sense I used it._

_When he opened the window I could see he wearing the same clothes as earlier, at hadn´t had time to change, maybe he just got home from dropping his date off. Or, I stared at him, horrified, maybe she was there with him._

"_Are you alone?" I whispered._

_He stared at me incredulously. "Of course I am. Why wouldn´t I be?"_

"_I could´ve brought your date home with you?" I made it sound like a question._

_He chuckled "Nah, she had a curfew." He gave me once-over, seeing that I was still in my jadegreen dress. "Are you going to stand there all night, or are you coming in?"_

_I gathered my dress in one hand and reached out to him with the other. "A little help please."_

_He placed his strong hand around my waist and lifted me over the window cill. "Thanks."_

_Jace walked over to his dresser and pulled out a t-shirt. "Maybe you should change your clothes. That dress is totaly hot, but it looks a little uncomfortable," _

_When I came back from the bathroom Jace lay in bed, dressed only in a pair of gray sweats._

"_Better?" he asked when I entered the room_

"_Very," I smiled and climed in next to him._

"_Speaking of dates..."_

"_That´s funny, I didn´t realised we were still doing that."_

"_Be serious," he scolded me. "Why are you here, with me, and not with Seb? Because I know for a fact that he rented a hotelroom for tonight."_

_I sighed. "Yeah. I know"_

"_What happened," he asked when I didn´t say anything else._

"_He broke up with me," I answered sadly. Not because I lost my boyfriend, but because I wasted som much time on him in the first place. God, two years of my life... _

"_What?" he sat up straight,"Why?"_

_I smiled at his stunned expression. "I wouldn´t _put out_"_

"_You´re kidding me! That bastard! I´m going to..."_

_I took his hand in mine and entwined our fingers together. "Don´t bother with him, Jace. I don´t"_

_I dragged him back down on the bed without letting go of his hand._

"_C?"_

"_Yeah?" I closed my eyes, enjoying the feeling of security I always felt with Jace._

"_If he broke up with you because... You know... Does that mean..."_

"_That I´m still a virgin? Yup," I said, popping the p._

"_Oh,"_

_We just lay there for a while, not talking. I kept my eyes on the ceiling, playing absentmindedly with his fingers._

_I rolled over to the side, facing him and place my free hand on his cheek. "Jace," I breathed and leaned in and kissed him. At first he didn´t move a muscle, but let me continue the kiss. When I slid my tongue over his bottom lip and nibbled a little he let out a low moan and opened his mouth to meet my tongue with his own. I couldn´t breathe, couldn´t think. I wound my fingers into his golden hair and pulled him closer to me._

_He let go of my lips and lifted his head. "What are you doing, C?"_

_I kissed him on his neck, his cheek and finally on his lips. "I´ve always wanted my first time to be special, and what could be more special than this."_

_He whisperd my name and pulled me flush against his warm body, we didn´t speak again for a very long time._

So... Any thoughts?


	2. Chapter 2

**First of all I would like to thank **ThatHippieChick **for my first r****eview. Flattery will get you everywhere and that´s**** why I´ll be posting this sooner than I planned****...**

**Okay, so this is the second part... Hope you´ll like it.**

**Don´t own anything. Blah blah**

Chapter 1

Now 20 y/o

Jpov

I was standing in the bar in Pandemonium, with a beer in one hand and the other on the knee of the blonde bimbo next to me. I leaned in, and whispered suggestions in her ear.

I´d been working her for the better part of the evening. It never took that long to get women, but lately I found myself needing the challenge. The ring on her left hand no longer presented an obstacle. She giggled and tried to put her hand inside my pants, fake nails and all.

Damn I was bored. I rather be home in bed – I gave the giggeling bimbo a disgusted glance - _alone, _than here right now.

I felt the buzzing in my pocket.

"Hold on, babe. I gotta check my phone," I removed her hands with a false look of regret.

_**{Dull party. Fugly guys. Leaving. U at? C}**_

I had no control over the smile that spread across my face. The only woman I would never dare call babe. My best _frenemy_, C.

_**{Out. Going home. Drunk? J}**_ I typed and hit send.

_**{Yeah... =) U? C }**_

I looked at my beer. Was this the fourth? Or the fifth?

_**{Not really J}**_

_**{Come get me? C}**_

_**{Text me the address and I´ll get a cab. J}**_

"Sorry, babe. Gotta go. Go home to your fiancée," I called over my shoulder without a second glance in her direction as I made my way to the door.

"He´s my husband," she called after me.

I shook my head at that. "Lucky guy."

When the cab pulled up to the house about twenty minutes later, there was no doubt in my mind that this was the right address. The place had a 'frat party' feel to it, I wondered how the hell C ended up here.

She was sitting on the porch, waiting for me. She stood up and my eyes grew larger when I saw what she was wearing. Or _not_ wearing might be the correct phrase.

The dress was black, clinging to her like a second skin, strapless and ended only a few inches below her butt.

I tried to hide my body's involuntaryreaction by putting my leg over the other.

"Jace," she squealed and joined me in the backseat. "You´re a lifesaver. I´ve never been so bored before."

"Yup," I said, popping the p. "That´s me, alright. Always ready to help a damsel in distress." I grinned.

"Where to?" the cabbie asked.

I looked at her and raised an eyebrow. "Home?"

C turned away from me and looked out the window. After a deep sigh she shook her head. Understanding her completely I gave the driver my address, leaned back in the seat and closed my eyes.

Let me describe C to you. She is this wonderful mix of contrasts.

First, she is this tiny, tiny woman, with flaming red hair.

She taught me early on that the rumors about redheads and their temperament are _all _true. I´ve been on the receiving end of that temperament more times that I like to remember. How all that rage can fit inside such a small body, is beyond me.

Her laugh is the single most contagious sound in the world. It doesn´t matter what mood you´re in, when C laughs, you laugh with her. She´s got a morbid sense of humor.

She´s as comfortable in an oversized t-shirt and cut-offs, playing videogames all night, as she´s in wearing short, tight dresses and fuck-me-heels to clubs, where she´ll dance till dawn.

She is like a girly tomboy.

She´s not afraid to say what she´s thinking, but would never hurt you on purpose.

Almost the only thing that makes her sad is injustice, and anything having to do with her family.

I´ve known her for 14 years, but I still feel like I learn something new about her every time I see her.

I asked her about her night, and she told me that a girl from school dragged her to the party and then left her there.

"He promised me the ride of my life," she giggled when she described a guy coming on to her. "What a slime, right."

"Yeah," I smiled. "That´s not how you get the girls. Maybe we should go back to the party, I could teach him a few things"

"I bet you could," her smile lights up her face. "What would I do without you, Jace?"

"You´re drunk, C" I snorted.

"Now, what would make you say that?" she tried to sound chocked, but a faint slur to her speech ruined it.

"You´re being nice. The only time you´re nice to me is when you´ve been drinking." Did I sound bitter? I wasn´t. That´s the way it´d always been. We´ve never really gotten along and we couldn´t agree on almost anything.

But that´s what made it interesting.

Almost an hour later I unlocked the door to my large two-bedroom apartment.

Friends and family argued that I should make up the spare for C, instead of using it as a storage room, because of how often she spent the night. But what´s the point, she always slept in my bed anyway, ever since we were 10 y/o.

When we turned 13 our parents thought that it was 'inappropriate' for a non-related boy and girl to share a bed, so they bought a bunk bed for my room.

Stupid idea, really. The only one to sleep in the top bunk was our cat, Church.

"I´m going to shower," I said. I needed to get the smell of club and skank off my skin before bed. "Make yourself comfortable, you know were the shirts are."

I tugged the wife beater over my head and threw it in the hamper by the foot of the bed, this caused me to , unintentionally, flex the toned muscles on my upper body. I noticed Cs lingering eyes on my abs.

"So classic Jace. Showing off your hot bod, every chance you get."

"You think I´m hot?" I wiggled my eyebrows at her.

"Eat me," she snapped, apparently sober again.

"Wouldn´t you like that," I challenged her and licked my lips suggestively.

"Go to hell, Jace," she muttered under her breath.

"Aww, C. You always say the sweetest things." I stepped inside the bathroom and closed the door just in time. The bedside lamp crashed into the door were my head had been just a moment ago.

"You´re paying for that," I yelled through the door.

I turned on the water and after stripping out of my jeans and socks I stepped naked under the spray. No boxers for me. Too suffocating.

I soaped up and washed my golden blond hair, my mind occupied by the redhead in the other room. I felt my body's familiar reaction to her and moaned.

With a sigh I turned the temperature to cold.

"This is going to be a looong night."

Cpov

I kicked off my shoes and pulled the dress over my head. Stepping up to the mirror I took a good look at myself wearing only my panties. You couldn´t wear a bra with the dress I wore tonight, but it wasn´t uncommon for me to go braless anyway.

My body wasn´t that bad, short but shapely legs, flat stomach and small breasts. Too small, my ex-boyfriend Jordan used to say, but Jace once described them as perfect handfuls.

"Ah, Jace," I sighed, the image of his beautiful body flashed before my eyes.

I went to the party tonight with the plan to hook up with a cute guy, just to get my mind off my best friends toned body, his soft, kissable lips, silky smooth golden blond hair and burning golden-brown eyes.

It had been six months since the last time I had sex. It happened in this room, in the bed next to me, with the beautiful man in the shower.

**There you have it guys... Next part will start with a flashback... ****Hope you like it... Review please =)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Wow, this felt like it took forever to write… I always use pen and paper to write down my stories, before typing them up. **

**To those of you who are wondering… I will not go deeper into Cs home life. Sorry about that.**

**And of course the rest of the characters will show up. Next chapter will contain Magnus and Alec, for example.**

**And of course I don´t own anything… =)**

Chapter 2

Cpov

_Flashback_

_Jace and I were waiting in line for the bathroom; the older Lightwoods were away for the weekend so naturally Izzy threw one of her famous parties._

_We were talking and laughing when the door opened abruptly, revealing my boyfriend, Jordan and our friend, Maia._

_He was occupied with buttoning his jeans and Maias clothes and make-up were a mess. Her hair showed signs of having hands run through it. My _boyfriend's _hands. _

"_What the fuck is wrong with you? I could hear Jace yelling._

_Jordan actually shrugged "Whatever, dude. I wanted to feel a real woman for a change," he blinked at Maia._

"_Oh, shit," Jace gasped. "You did _not _just say that."_

"_What are you gonna do about it?" He raised an eyebrow, challenging Jace. "Hit me?"_

"_No, _dude,_" his smile was filled with anticipation. "Not me."_

_Before he finished speaking my fist connected with Jordan's jaw._

_An hour or so later I was seated in Jaces couch, sipping a cap ´n coke, with an icepack on my sore hand._

"_Holy shit, that felt good, "I smiled, the pain was gone and all that was left was a slight throbbing._

_Jace just laughed. "It looked good too. Damn, C. I´d almost forgotten about your mean right hook."_

_I flexed my fingers and decided that they felt fine._

"_Can I get you anything?" He asked with concern._

"_Nah," I replied. "I´m fine."_

"_Are you, C? Are you really?"_

_It took me a moment to understand what he was talking about. Jordan and Maia._

_Tears immediately filled my eyes, but I couldn´t understand why. I wasn´t heartbroken, not even that sad. We´d been going out for almost eight month, but it was not the loss of my boyfriend that brought tears to my eyes, nor was it the loss of my friend. I cried over being betrayed by two people I´d trusted._

"_He told me he cared about me," I sniffed._

_Yes, _cared_, not loved. I´d never used the word love when it came to relationships, not even friendships, and I never let people do it either. I grew up hearing my dad tell us he loved us one second and then scream and push us around the next. No, people who used that word were liars. Love destroyed everything._

_I could feel his strong arms pulling me close, and for a second I let the feeling of his body against mine envelope me._

"_Don´t cry, Sweet Cea," the use of the old childhood nickname caused more tears to trickle down my cheeks._

_I straightened and gulped up the rest of my drink. "More," I demanded and wiped my face with the back of my hands. _

"_Don´t," I noticed his hesitation. "I´m planning on getting mind-numbing drunk. Now, you have two choices; you could join me or I could hit the clubs, it´s up to you."_

_He opened his mouth, probably to argue, but I didn´t give him a chance to speak. "Ask me again how I´m feeling and I _will _punch you"_

_Jace just snickered, got up from the couch, and soon returned with three bottles. _

"_Ah, my four favorite boys; John, Jack, José and of course, you Jace."_

_He poured me a shot, and I swallowed it without so much as a blink, enjoying the mild burning sensation as the alcohol slid down my throat. _

"_Let´s play a game," I suggested before gulping down another one._

"_You know that I´m always willing to play with you, C" he winked at me, "what did you have in mind?"_

_I leaned closer to him, placed my hand high up on his thigh and my lips against his ear. I let my breath tickle the smooth skin of his neck, making him shiver. "That´s not the kind of games I meant. But the night´s still young."_

_After several deep breaths to regain some control over himself he smiled. "So what _do _you want to play?"_

"_How about truth or dare? No," I answered myself, "to high school. How about I have, or could, or maybe would never?"_

_Jace shook his head at me, "Which one?"_

"_All of them?" I made it sound like a question._

"_So you want to play I have/would/could never?"_

"_Yeah. We already know everything about each other so only playing I have never wouldn´t be as fun."_

_I couldn´t decipher the look in his eyes. He looked almost…sad._

"_Not everything"_

I snapped back to reality, remembering that look. I really wished I knew what he meant.

Listening for a sound from the bathroom and only hearing the shower I sighed and pulled his t-shirt over my head.

It was the same one as last time. I climbed in to bed and returned to that night.

_I studied his face carefully, than grinned._

"_Did you forget that I already know about your stuffed cat Miss Sugarplum, whom you couldn´t sleep without ´til you were twelve."_

_He almost choked on his shot "Hrmf," I patted him on the back until he stopped coughing. "You okay there?" I asked, still grinning._

"_Yeah," he cleared his throat. "So are we playing, or not?"_

"_I´ll go first," I considered what to say. "I´ve never been punched in the face for trying to put my hand up my best friends skirt."_

_Jace glared at me and swallowed his shot. "I still have that chipped tooth to remind me, thank you very much."_

"_You totally deserved it, you perv."_

"_We were fourteen; I was trying to get to third base."_

"_You skipped the first _two_!"_

"_Whatever. My turn." He chewed on his bottom lip while thinking, and I realized that I couldn´t take my eyes off his mouth. It looked soft and kissable. And I knew by experience that looks weren´t deceiving._

"_Earth to C! Have you heard a word of what I was saying?"_

"_What, err, hmm? I was just thinking that maybe I should change out of these clothes, before we continue," I tried to shake the thoughts of his lips from my mind._

"_Sure you were, C. Sure you were. Do you need my help or can you manage on your own?"_

_I stuck out my tongue at him and walked to the bedroom. _

_On my way over I could hear him calling after me. "I could think of a few things that would make better use of that tongue of yours."_

"_You wish," I yelled and closed the door behind me._

_I returned in a couple of minutes, wearing a three seizes too big, worn Iron Maiden t-shirt that fell off of one shoulder and ended mid-thigh._

"_That shirt always looks better on you. Why is that?" he asked, his eyes trailing up and down my body._

"_It´s the porn industry," I replied and reclaimed my seat next to him. "Women in men's clothing are apparently a huge turn-on. Now, where were we? I believe it´s your turn."_

"_Let´s see… How about, I´ve never been caught patting the field, combing the grass, flipping the _on _switch, or whatever the cool kids call it these days."_

_I took a shot while muttering "ass" and "learn to knock" under my breath. "Everybody does it. I´m sure you do it all the time."_

"_Not really," was his honest reply. "I just get somebody else to do it for me."_

_I looked away, surprised by the pang in my chest at the thought of him with someone else. Pretending to contemplate my next question I tapped a finger to my bottom lip._

"_Ok, I would never get married."_

_Jace shook his head at my cynism and took a shot._

"_Really?" I asked him._

"_Sure. Don´t you know about my secret book. It´s pink and have stickers of flowers and cakes all over it. The title is; my dream wedding."_

_I stared at him, not knowing is I should take him seriously. "Oh?" I tried not to laugh "You`ve the whole thing planned out, then?"_

"_Yup," he popped the p. "Right down ´til the first dance."_

"_Oh my god, Jace. What could that be?"_

"_That girl by Iron Maiden," he replied with a straight face._

_I burst out laughing, almost fell off the couch in the process. "Oh, Jace. You always know how to make me laugh." _

"_Glad I could help"_

"_My turn again. I would never move in on a friend's boyfriend/girlfriend._

_I widened my eyes when Jace drank. "What?!"_

_He shrugged "Is that not what I did to Seb?"_

"_No! Of course not! He and I were over!" I fought to control my temper._

_Another shrug "According to the Guy Code, it didn´t matter."_

"_Guy code? What the hell is that?"_

"_I´m sure it´s similar to the Girl Code. You know. Stay away from girlfriends, sisters… and exes."_

"_I don´t care what you say. It´s _not _the same," I glared at him. How dare he compare himself_ _to what Maia did? "I´m done playing this stupid game with you. Let´s just drink and talk before we go to bed"_

_As I uttered the last word images flashed before my eyes of the two of us in his bed. Naked, sweaty, moaning. I almost groaned. What was wrong with me tonight? It´s not like we haven´t slept together countless times before, both as friends and lovers, so why was tonight different?_

_We talked about everything between heaven and earth. And after a while we just stopped talking. Sometime during it all Jace´d pulled me closer to him. He rested his chin on the top of my head, I snuggled closer to him, enjoying the silence. When I stifled my third yawn he picked me up and carried me to bed._

"_Got everything you need, Sweet Cea" Anything I can get you?" Jace asked me, his voice soft._

"_No," I whisper, "I just want to sleep." _

"_Sweet dreams," he turned off the light and lay down next to me._

_I tried to fall asleep, I really did. I went trough of my relaxing exercises, but nothing seemed to work. I was too aware of the man beside me, and my mind kept going back to the same thing over and over again._

"_Jace," I whispered, not wanting to wake him if he succeeded in falling asleep._

"_Yeah?" He sounded hesitant, as if he wondered what I wanted._

"_Do you think he was right?" I knew I didn´t have to specify._

_I closed my eyes when he turned on the lights._

"_No, C. No, I really don´t."_

"_Are you sure?" I didn't want to look at him. Afraid that his eyes would tell me that he thought that Jordan was right. "I don´t have much in the..." I gestured to my breasts "…department."_

"_God, C. Look at me. Please." He added the last word when I didn´t comply immediately._

_I turned around, facing him, but kept my eyes fixed on his shoulder, still not wanting to look him in the eyes._

_He placed his hands around my face, forcing me to look at him._

"_You are _beautiful_, C. everything about you is beautiful. Do you have any idea what you´re doing to guys, what you´re doing to _me? _If you were any more if a woman, I would be spending all my waking hours in a cold shower. And _that, _C is the truth."_

_My breath caught in my throat. I looked deeply into his wonderful eyes, captivated by the truth I could see in them._

_Without being able to help myself I leaned forward and pressed my lips against his in a soft, lingering kiss._

"_No, C, wait," he pulled back from me, "this is not what I meant. We…you…I…"he stuttered, which only made him sexier. My strong, cocky, confident Jace. Seeing him loose just a tiny bit of that famous cool only made me want him more._

"_Sch…" I whispered. "I know what you mean. But I want this. I need this. Need you."_

_I watched him struggle with what to do, what choice to make. I licked my bottom lip, my eyes never leaving his._

_A groan forced itself through his body and I knew he´d given up. He was mine for the taking._

_He pushed me back against the pillows and crushed his lips to mine._

_The only sound in the room was of our ragged breathing. I was positive I would be sore in the morning, but couldn´t care less. This was the best night of my life._

_Not just the sex, although it had been amazing. No, what made this night special was his attention to every detail. Taking his time with every part of my body, not just the key parts, but he´d taken his time on those. I could feel a blush heating my face and snuggled closer to him._

_Jace wrapped his arms tighter around me. "You okay there, C? You´re so quiet."_

_I sighed. "Yeah."_

"_What´s wrong?" I could hear a frown in his voice._

"_Nothing. Honest."_

_He placed two fingers under my chin, tilted my head up to meet his questioning stare. He widened his eyes, locking almost panicked._

"_What´s wrong, C? Why are you crying? Did I hurt you? Please, C. Talk to me, dammit!" he raised his voice at the end._

_Was I crying? I hadn´t realized that. I could only think about how happy I was. "I´m fine. Really, really fine," I smiled through the tears and kissed him._

"_People don´t cry when they´re _fine_." He persisted._

"_It´s just…I…" I didn´t know where to start. How could I explain the feelings exploding inside of me, "…I…Jordan…" I could tell that was the wrong thing to say._

_His concern disappeared without a trace, leaving behind a look that made my heart turn to ice._

"_Jordan?! You´re crying over _Jordan_?!" he yelled at me. "After tonight… after this… you´re still thinking about _him_!?"_

"_No, that´s not…" he cut me off, not letting me explain and jumped off the bed, taking his pillow with him._

"_Jace, where are you going?"_

"_To sleep on the couch," he snapped, not bothering to look at me._

"_No, Jace, wait," I pleaded, reaching for his arm. He pulled away from me, like my touch caused him pain._

"_I´m done being used by you. I´ll sleep in the living room tonight and will leave the apartment first thing in the morning. I want you gone when I get back."_

"_But…" I tried again._

"_You can still keep your key, and are welcome to sleep here whenever I work nights. But not when I´m here. Not anymore."_

_The door banged shut behind him._

**So… What do you think so far? **

**Thanks for all the favorites and followers, but wouldn´t mind a bit more reviews.**


	4. Chapter 4

**I really have to stop posting so much. My poor pens keep running out of ink. But I received so strong reactions on the last chapter that I felt like I should give you the next right away. **

**What do you think? Love it? Hate it? Please review.**

**And of course, CC owns, not me**

Chapter 3

Jpov

The memory of that night poured over me, much like the cold water from the shower. I tried to suppress a shiver, but without success and knew that the temperature had nothing to do with it.

God, I could still remember every detail. The look in her eyes when she told him she needed him, wanted _him._ I thought, this is it. That this infuriating, sexy, crazy, compassionate, beautiful woman had finally looked into my eyes and seen what I´d been longing to tell her for years. And that she felt the same way.

But then she started crying and said Jordan's name. I could almost hear my heart breaking. Like a fucking girl.

I lost it, told her to be gone by the time I got back from breakfast with Alec and Magnus. A part of me hoped that she would still be there when I got back. That she would tell me that I was wrong, that she hadn´t been thinking about her SOB boyfriend when she kissed _my_ lips or arched against _my _touch.

But the apartment had been empty when I returned.

It took two month before we talked again.

The first one I spent every free night at Pandemonium, looking for random hook-ups to take to the storage room.

I never took them home with me. Maybe I should have. Then I could´ve gotten rid of her scent, that seemed to cling to every part of his bed, no matter how many timed I changed the sheets. But a part of me couldn´t do it, a part of me reveled in the torture. Glutton for punishment, you that´s me.

But after four weeks of nameless women, who I forgot about as soon as I was done with them I stopped going out altogether.

The only time I left my apartment was when I went to work.

_Flashback_

_About a month after the C incident, the only way he referred to it in his mind, Alec got sick of it and confronted me._

_He stood before me as some kind of morbid version of an avenging angel. His black hair styled to perfection, his blue eyes ablaze with anger. Even the designer jeans and grey shirt fit the image._

"_What the fuck is wrong with you, Jace. We don´t fucking see you anymore, you don´t answer the phone. And I know that Clary hasn´t heard from you either."_

"_Damn, Alec. You kiss Magnus with that mouth?" I stared at my brother. Alec never cursed like this._

"_He sure does," Magnus said. He looked as good as his boyfriend. Shortly after him and Alec got together he stopped wearing glitter with everything. He didn´t feel the need for attention anymore, since he found the love of his life. "And quite well I might add."_

"_TMI, my friend," I made a face at him._

"_Get your ass out of that damn couch and come out with us tonight," I could tell from the sound of Alec´s voice that he wouldn´t take no for an answer._

"_I knew you couldn´t resist mentioning my ass, but remember that we are brothers and those feeling would be wrong," my cocky grin just made him angrier._

"_The _fuck_, Jace! Get your shit together, _now_! Or I swear I will hurt you!" Alec all but growled that last part._

"_Just don´t hit the face," I smiled _that _smile. "It´s far too gorgeous to damage."_

"_Fuck you, Jace! Get up! You´re coming with us tonight, even if I have to drag you out of here by your hair!"_

"_Okay, whatever. There´s no reason to be all girly and stoop to hair pulling. I´ll go." I was almost at the front door when Alec stopped me._

"_Eh, Jace?"_

"_What now? Do you want to braid my hair before we go?_

"_Tempting, but no. You might want to take a shower first. You reek."_

_An hour later Alec and I moved through the sea of gyrating bodies, on our way to the bar._

"_The usual, Kaelie," I ordered when approached by the scantily clad bartender._

_I turned my back to her and let my eyes scan the crowed. In the middle of the dancers I noticed a small, redheaded woman dancing, no, grinding against a dark-haired asshole I´d never seen before._

"_Make it a double," I called over my shoulder, confident that she would hear me. "And keep ´em coming."_

_I did my best not to acknowledge her presence by focusing on all the willing women around me. _

_They pushed their breasts against me – supposedly by accident – rubbed my biceps or those who were really brave caressed my abs. But nothing seemed to work. I swore I could hear her giggle when that SOB whispered something in her ear, or moan when he squeezed her butt and pulled her closer to him. It didn´t matter that I knew it was impossible._

_Even with my back to her I knew exactly were in the room she was. I kept my eyes fixed on my drink, turning the empty glasses upside down before gesturing for a refill, earning a glare from Kaelie at the mess I made._

_Alec was turned sideways, facing both the bar and the dance floor. I could hear the sound of his voice, but not a single word of what he said registered._

_Even though my mind was otherwise occupied I instantly sensed something was wrong when Alec stiffened in his seat._

"_Jace…" I could hear the warning in his voice._

_I turned around on the barstool, searching for what made Alec react like that. _

_There, not far from the storage room, the bastard who had his hands all over C, were almost dragging her with him. It was clear for anyone who noticed that it was happening against her will._

_Rage seeped from every pore in my body and I was on my feet in an instant, hearing the stool fall to the floor behind me with a loud clang._

_I ran as fast as I could, but didn´t arrive in time to stop him from putting his hands around her slim throat and push her up against the wall._

_Alec caught up with me. "For the love of all…! Please, Jace! Take care of Clary! Let me handle that fucker! _Don´t _touch him! Get Clary away from here! She needs you now!" he shouted in my ear, desperately trying to get through to me._

_By some miracle Alec reached them before I did, otherwise there was no telling what I would have done._

_Now I was just in time to catch C before she slumped to the floor. _

_Alec dragged the guy away, most likely to keep him away from me. I pulled my best friend close to my chest and lifted her up, bridal style._

"_I got you, Sweet Cea," I crooned in her ear, while desperately trying to calm my beating heart._

"_Jace…" she whispered against my neck._

"_I got you. And I won't let anybody hurt you."_

_I carried her outside, hailed a cab and gave him my address, without easing my hold on the woman in my arms._

_I tried to put her down on my bed, but she wouldn´t let go of me._

"_Please, Jace," she whimpered. "Don´t leave me. Stay, Please."_

_I struggled with myself. I couldn´t stay in the bed with her I just couldn´t. But I couldn´t leave her either._

_With a deep sigh I gathered her up in my arms again and carried her out to the living room, and stayed awake the whole night, watching her sleep in my arms._

These last four month we slowly returned to the way things were before. We hung out watching movies or just talking. But she never spent the night. Not when I was home, at least.

I turned off the water, toweled up, and tied it around my hips. It was dark outside the bathroom, the moon the only light source. I went to the dresser to get a pair of sweats, the only time I wore something to bed were when C was her. When I approached the bed I could just make out the shape of her body under the covers. She was asleep.

I couldn´t help myself, I _had _to sleep next to her. With a promise not to touch her and to wake up before she did, I slipped under the covers beside her.

I knew the second my head hit the pillow, that I´d made a mistake. Her scent surrounded me, more powerful than usual. I stiffened as she rolled over, snugging closer to me.

Yup, I thought, this is going to be a loooong night.

I woke an hour later by the feel of light kisses raining on my chest and a small hand slipping beneath my sweats.

I froze. "What are you doing, C?" I asked hoarsely, her touch driving me insane.

I grabbed her hand, fully intent on pushing her away, but couldn´t put any force behind it.

"C! Stop! Please…" I moaned as her tongue swirled around my bellybutton.

Her kisses continued lower, when she reached out to pull my sweats down and expose my throbbing hard-on I grabbed both of her hands.

"Sch…" she whispered. "Let me do this. Please, Jace"

I could feel my frail resistance slip between my fingers. How could I say no to that? I released her hands, silently urging her to continue.

I lifted my hips slightly off the bed, helping her pull down my pants.

Soft kisses trailed down my heated skin, I bit my lip to keep myself from growling. When she reached the base of me she whispered, "You have to tell me if I do anything wrong. I´ve never done this before"

My breath caught in my lungs, and the came out with a whoosh.

Oh, my god. I almost came right then and there, hearing her whispered confession, feeling her hot breath on my stiffness.

Any thought as to what that dissipated as I felt her mouth close around me. The world seemed to explode; the most incredible sensation filled every part of my body, making me feel like I was on fire.

I curled my fingers in her hair, trying desperately to control myself, needing something to hold on to and aching to touch any part of her.

I bit my lip so hard that I drew blood, but that didn´t lessen the feeling inside me.

I tightened my grip on her hair. "Stop," I begged her.

She lifted her head agonizingly slow. "Did I do something wrong?"

I took a firm hold of her arms and pulled her on top of me, her face inches from mine.

"No," I moaned and kissed her, hard, letting my hands roam over her beautiful body. My mouth left hers to follow the curve of her jaw and down her neck. I nipped gently over her pulse and then lapped soothingly over the spot with my tongue.

"I can´t wait any longer. Are you ready for me?" I whispered against her skin, her low moan the only answer I needed.

I lifted her by hips and positioned her so her entrance was placed at the tip of my cock. The sound the left by body when she slid down onto me was almost inhuman. Understanding her need for control I let her set the pace, even though it almost killed me to meet her movements with my own thrusts.

When we finally reached our climax I stayed aware of my surroundings long enough to feel her teeth sinking into my neck.

"Sorry about that," she murmured, gently touching the sore spot at the base of my neck.

"Nah, ´s all good. It´s not the first time. What´s up with that anyway? Trying to mark me?" I held her close, reveling in the feel of her body against mine. Sex was the furthers thing from my mind right now – not entirely true, considering who lay in my arms – I just wanted to hold her.

I could feel her shrugging. "Don´t know. I guess I try not to scream."

I pulled her face closer to mine until our lips almost touched. "I would love to hear you scream," I whispered before kissing her.

When I released she buried her face against my chest. Even though the darkness prevented me from seeing her face I was sure it was flushed with color.

"C, are you blushing?" I asked, smiling.

"No," she grumbled.

I laughed at that. "Don´t be embarrassed. I think it´s adorable that you can still do that after what just happened."

She smacked me over the head. "Ass."

I chuckled, but then turned serious. "So…" I took a deep breath. "How come this was your first blowjob?"

"Well, Jordan tried to teach me once…" she paused, probably realizing that her ex asshole not was my favorite topic. "He told me it was like eating a Popsicle, and do it the same way," she continued sheepishly.

I laughed so hard that I fell out of the bed, dragging her with me. I knew exactly how she ate popsicles. After a few licks she always got impatient and bit the top off.

"Oh, man," I tried to pull myself together. "I´m glad you didn´t do _that_."

"I just followed my instincts, I guess."

"Well woman, you´ve got great instincts."

We got up from the cold floor, climbed into bed again and slipped under the covers. I pulled her back against my chest, forming a perfect spoon. Before I could drift off to sleep I could hear her whisper my name.

"Hm?" I kissed her neck.

"We seem to keep ending up in bed together… Why is that, do you think?"

"I don´t know, C," I yawned. "It´s a great bed and you give great…"

"Be serious," she interrupted me.

"I am serious. We should keep doing it," I yawned again. Damn, was I tired, after months of mostly sleepless nights, I just wanted to sleep. For a week or two.

"Yeah?"

"Sure. If everything else fails, we always got each other.

"So…" something strange had crept in to her voice. "If we can´t find someone else…Like a last resort?"

"Mm," I barely heard her anymore.

"Like hook up or shut up?"

Whatever you want to call it, C. Now please sleep. It´s late."

"G´night, Jace."

But I was already sleeping, or else I might have asked myself what the hell I just agreed to.


	5. Chapter 5

**This is a little bit shorter than usual. I hope you´ll enjoy it.**

**Don´t hate me too much =)**

**Don´t own…. Yadda yadda. **

Chapter 4

Cpov

"So what you´re saying is...What are you saying, exactly?" Izzy asked two days later.

"Hook up or shut up," I repeated for what felt like the fiftieth time.

"And that means...?"

"It means that if Jace or I can´t find someone else, we go home together. No questions asked, either way," I clarified. Why couldn´t she understand?

"And you´re sure Jace agrees to this?"

"It was his idea," I said, but with less confidence this time. The look on his face when we talked about it again the next day...He´d looked sort of... resigned. But it was his idea in the first place, I reassured myself. And it _was _a great idea.

"Okay, if you guys think it´ll work, I´m not going to say anything about it. So what are we doing on Friday?" she changed the subject.

I thought about it. "Pandemonium?"

"Yay," Izzy clapped her hands with excitement. "I just bought this new dress, that I´ve been dying to off. We can get ready at my house, and you could spend the night." All my friends were aware of my reluctance to be home.

"Maybe. Or I´ll just crash at Jaces place."

"Sure. If he doesn´t hook up with someone else, right?"

"Uh-Hu," I forced a smile to my face. He _could _hook up with someone else. Girls were always after him, and he made sure to take advantage of that as much as possible. I sometimes pitied the girls who tried to catch him; it was like trying to hold a snowflake in the palm of your hand, impossible.

It never bothered me before, so why did the thought of him with another girl make me want to punch somebody. Preferably the whore in question.

"Earth to Clary," Izzy said.

"Huh?" I hadn´t heard a word. "You were saying?"

"Wow, you really spaced out. Wanna share?" something in Izzy´s eyes made me shift uncomfortably in my chair.

"´s nothing," I started playing with a lock of my hair, not meeting her gaze. What was wrong with me? Why would I care about who Jace hooked up with?

"Do you think Jace would be okay with having a small get-together at his place before we go out?"

"Izzy, how small is _small_, exactly?" I asked, knowing that the word held a complete different meaning for her than for me.

"I don´t know," she answered and tossed her hair over her shoulder. Something she always did when trying to avoid a question. "Who should we invite?" she held up her hand and started counting on her fingers. "You and me of course, Jace because it´s his place after all, Simon, Alec and Magnus, _not _Maia or Jordan…Aline...?" the last name came out as more of a question.

"_No,_" my answer was immediate. I´d never gotten along with Aline, even though we were friends with the same people. The fact that I caught her with Jace had _nothing _to do with it.

"Oookay, not Aline," Izzy gave me a 'whatever you say' look. "Ugh," she downed the last of her coffee, "we really need to get more friends."

"Why?" I asked. "I think we´re perfect the way we are. An even six. Six is a great number, I always say." I wasn´t in the mood to meet new people. For every guy at a party there were always two girls, and I really didn´t need more of those around.

"Yeah, we´re perfect," she smiled. "But seeing that you and Jace aren´t a couple, and never will…" I couldn´t suppress a shudder at her words.

"Sure. More friends. And how would that work?"

"Well… If the six of us each brought someone new, we would be twelve. It´s still a god number." Izzy looked proud of herself. It _was _a great idea, I had to give her that.

"Okay, how are we supposed to find this shiny, new person?"

"At work, of course. Or, in your case, school."

"I guess I could do that. There´s this guy in art…"

"No, no, no, no. We all have to bring someone of the same sex, except maybe Magnus. That way we would still be even couples. What a great idea, right," she beamed at me, obviously happy with herself.

"Yeah. Sure. Great." Three new girls out to get Jace, I couldn´t wait.

Friday came with great wheatear, but the way I was feeling it should´ve been a storm outside. Jace never hesitated when Izzy asked about the party. Nooo. It was a _great _idea. Always fun to meet new people.

Yeah, fun.

Tammy and I was the last to arrive at the party. I didn´t really knew her, but she seemed to be the only girl in my class who didn´t think she was better than everybody.

Simon and Izzy greeted us at the door, introducing themselves and handing me a Cap ´n Coke. Something about the look in Izzys eyes made me think I was going to need it. What was going on?

"So…" Izzy began, "Magnus brought this chick from work…"

I couldn´t care less about Magnus and his co-workers. I removed my coat, ignoring Simon as he choked on his drink at the sight of my dress.

It was really pretty modest. It ended at my knees, and there was no real cleavage, but it was almost see-through, showing hints of my bra and panties.

"Clary, wait. You really should listen to this."

I just waved her off and scanned the room. I wanted to see Jace, we hadn´t talked since I left his apartment last Sunday and I… well… I missed him.

_There._ He was standing in the kitchen door, talking to Magnus, and damn did he look good. He wore a black wife beater that fit perfectly over his muscled chest, black low riding jeans and his arm was around a beautiful blond girl… wait, _what_?

"_That_," I could hear Izzy behind me, "is what I was trying to tell me."

I took a deep breath, closed my eyes, raised my drink to my lips and emptied the glass.

"I´m going to get another one, you want any?" I called over my shoulder to my friends.

"Clary…"Simon started

"It´s fine, Si. He made a new friend. Good for him," I didn´t look at them. "I´m going to get a drink and then find me a _friend _own.

A while later I sat on the lap of this guy in the kitchen, whom Alec brought with him from work. Ralph I think his name was.

I was having a good time. His hands were placed loosely on my hips and he leant in to whisper something in my ear.

"Your breath tickles," I giggled.

He laughed "I asked if you wanted a refill," he gestured to my empty glass.

"Sure," I smiled sweetly, "Cap n´ Coke, please."

"Be right back. Don´t go anywhere."

I jumped off his lap so he could get up and sat down again. This turned out to be a great night after all. Ralph seemed like a really sweet guy, and even though I wouldn´t be going home with him I hoped we could see each other again.

I stayed clear of Jace and his blond slut the entire night, but couldn´t shut out the sound of his laughter that broke through the music from time to time.

I kept telling myself that I didn´t care what he was doing. I hoped they would be happy together. Get married and have beautiful blond babies.

"Ugh," I groaned. Where was Ralph with my drink? What was taking him so long?

When he returned he handed me my drink, but wouldn´t look at me.

"Something wrong?" I asked, taking a sip.

"Clary, the next time you´re going to use a guy to make your boyfriend jealous, let him know," his eyes were cold. "I don´t want to be part of your games," he turned around and left.

"But…?" What just happened here?

I left the kitchen, trying to catch up with Ralph and ran straight into Izzy.

"Hey," she grabbed my arms to keep me from falling down. "Where´s the fire?"

"Did you see that guy I was with?" I asked, searching the living room.

"Raphael? I just saw him talking to Jace. Why?"

Jace? And then I knew what happened. I felt myself starting to shake with anger.

"Clary, what´s wrong?" Izzy sounded worried.

"I´m going to _kill _him."

He sat on the couch, the bimbo nowhere in sight. He looked up at me and smiled _that_ smile.

I lost it and slapped him across his grinning face. "What the _hell _is wrong with you Jace?" I screamed.

"Oh, _crap._" Simon.

"_Shit._" Izzy

"Not _again_." Alec

"You _go_ girl." Magnus

Jace stared at me and shrugged. The jackass actually _shrugged._

"What is wrong with _you_? That time of the month?"

"Oh no, he _didn´t_." Magnus.

"Fuck _this_, I´m leaving." Alec

"Me too." Izzy

"Me three." Simon

"I want to stay and watch this." Magnus

"Magnus!" Alec said, exasperated.

"Okay, fine. We´re leaving."

Soon enough we were alone, but neither of us noticed.

The only thing on my mind was the man towering over me.

"How _dare_ you scare off Ralph like that?" I hissed, clenching and unclenching my fists, prepared to hit him again.

"Raphael," Jace calmly replied.

"What?!"

"His name is Raphael. Not _Ralph_."

"Whatever."

"God, C. What happened to you? You can´t even bother to learn the guys names anymore?"

"Pu-lease, like you don´t get around?! I can´t even go outside without falling over one of your skanks. The only reason you call every woman _babe_ is so you don´t have to remember their name."

"I´ve never called you babe," I could see in his eyes that he was starting to lose his temper.

"Screw you, Jace."

"Been there, done that."

"Trust me," venom dripped from my voice, "it wasn´t that memorable."

He kissed me hard, just to shut me up.

I felt like I was going to melt. _This _was what I wanted. No Ralph or Raphael or whatever could even come close to what Jace made me feel.

"I still hate you," I moaned as we came up for air, before grabbing a hold of his wife beater and pulling him close to me.

"What else is new?" he whispered and crushed his lips to mine in a mind-blowing kiss.

Without another word he lifted me off my feet and carried me in to his bedroom.

I woke up alone. I wrapped the blanket around me like a sarong and went looking for Jace.

I found him staring out the living room window, naked. The tension in him was evident.

"Jace," I whispered. I could tell something was wrong, but didn´t understand what.

His shoulder sagged in defeat, but he didn´t turn around.

"You should go home, Clary," his voice sounded strange, raw.

"Why?" I asked, a chill creeping down my spine. "What´s wrong? And why are you calling me Clary?"

"That´s your name, isn´t it?" he ignored my other questions.

"But… you _never_ call me that."

"I know," he sighed. I wanted to go over to him and put my arms around him, but I was afraid. I´d never seen him like this before. "We´re not kids anymore, Clary," he continued. "It´s time we stopped acting like ones."

"Please, Jace," I pleaded. "Why are you doing this?"

"Go home, Clary."

"Look at me," I hated the way my voice trembled.

"_Go home_!"

**I guess this ended in a cliffy. Oh, well… Review and I´ll post the rest of that soon**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N : Okay let´s start with a shout out… TheHippieChick: You´re still my favorite reviwer… Curious to know what you think so far… And to the guest who said she wouldn´t be able to sleep last night… I hope you don´t hate me to much…**

**I still don´t own anything… **

"_Please, Jace," I pleaded. "Why are you doing this?"_

"_Go home, Clary."_

"_Look at me," I hated the way my voice trembled._

"Go home_!"_

Chapter 5

Cpov

"No!"

"I can´t do this anymore, Clary," his voice weren´t much louder than a whisper, but to me it sounded as if he was shouting.

"You…don´t…" I could barely get the words through the lump in my throat. "You´re my best friend."

"Am I?" the muscles in his back contracted. "I don´t think we are friends, Clary."

"Stop saying my name like that."

"_Friends_ don´t use each other," he continued as if he didn´t hear me.

"Use? When have I ever _used_ you?"

"Let´s see…" the bitterness in his voice was killing me. "To lose your virginity, to get back at Jordan, when you can´t find someone else to get you off…" he stopped, but I had a feeling that he wasn´t done.

"Stop, Jace. Just stop," a single teardrop trickled down my face. "You´re _wrong_."

"Am I?"

"_Look_ at me, Jace. _Look at me!"_ my raised voice shook with fear.

He turned around and the look in his eyes broke my heart. "I´ve never used you, Jace," I was crying now.

"Come on, Clary. Don´t lie to me."

"I´m _not_ lying. I didn´t have sex with Seb because I wanted my first time to be with someone I trusted more than anything, with _you_. I cried that night, not over Jordan, but because of how _you_ made me feel," my voice shook, I hadn´t known all this myself, but he knew me better than anyone. He had to believe me. "I went out with other guys only because I couldn´t have _you_!" My legs gave up at this point and I fell to my knees. I _hated _how week I was. Hated that, when it came to Jace, I had no control. "I can´t lose you."

Because of the agony I felt I didn´t hear the soft sound of his feet against the floor.

"Clary, don´t cry," he lifted me from the floor and wrapped his arm around me.

I pushed him away. Couldn´t stand to be close to him right now.

"Don´t touch me," I whispered.

"Clary…"

"Don´t call me that," I sounded calm even in my own ears. But I was screaming on the inside. "If you don´t want me here, I´ll leave." I pulled the blanket tighter around myself and walked towards his bedroom to get dressed.

I was almost at the door when he grabbed my arm and spun me around to face him.

"If you leave, you can´t come back," I could see in his eyes that he was fighting to keep his voice leveled.

"What do you want me to do, Jace?" I asked, suddenly so tired of the whole thing. "Why can´t I ever be your first choice?" I hadn´t intended to ask that question. Hadn´t even known that I felt that way. I blinked rapidly to keep myself from shedding anymore tears. I was done with acting like a little girl in front of him.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Jace asked.

When we were little you chose to be friends with me to get your hands on that stupid game, you agreed to take my virginity only because your date had a curfew, you hooked up with _Aline _even though you knew that I hated her," I couldn´t stop shaking, "and tonight I was good enough only because the blond…"

"The blond? You mean Camille?" Jace interrupted me.

"I don´t care about her name," I shouted.

"Clary…" his beautiful eyes were full of confusion. "You´re wrong."

"Bullcrap."

"Yeah, sure, you´re right about the game in a way, but as soon as I saw you playing it wasn´t as important anymore. I realized how much fun I had with you. You´re not wrong about Aline either," he shook his head, "but the only reason I did that was because I saw your 'mark' on Jordan, and realized that you basically went from my bed to his. I wanted to hurt you as much as you hurt me. But know that the only thing that ever happened between us is what you saw. Nothing else," he stopped talking.

I looked at him. "I hurt you?" I couldn´t believe it. I would _never _do anything to hurt Jace. He´d been my best friend for so long. There is no one I care about more.

He continued "Camille works with Magnus and is very much engaged. And as for taking your virginity…" he took a deep breath, bracing himself, "…it was one of the best nights of my life, I was so proud that you trusted me with that. I have been there for you…"

"I don´t want you to be there _for_ me, I want you here _with _me. I don´t care about other guys, like Ralph…"

"Raphael," he corrected me.

I looked at him and frowned. "Does it _matter_? I´m trying to say that I want _you_."

"Are you sure about that, Clary? Because once your _mine_ I might not let you go."

My eyes locked with his. "I´m already yours."

I was in his arms in the blink of an eye, felt his heart thunder against mine and heard him whisper my name, "C…"

We stood there, holding on tight, for what felt like hours.

"Come, C, let´s go to bed," he entwined his fingers with mine.

"Yeah?" I smiled wickedly.

"Too sleep, you naughty girl. We´re both tired."

We got in to bed, his arms pulling me close and I rested my head against his chest.

"Do I get to call you _babe_ now?"

"Try it and you´ll see what happens," I warned him with an exaggerated growl.

I was rocked to sleep by his laughter.

Jpov

We woke early the next morning and decided to go out for breakfast.

We walked hand in hand to a coffee shop a few blocks away from my place.

"Sooo…" C started after we place our orders. "What does this mean, exactly?"

"Does what mean?" I asked and smiled when she blushed.

"_This…_" she gestured at the two of us.

"What do you want it to mean?" I knew her well enough to know that she had to be the one placing labels, if she wanted them.She is the bravest person I ever met, but when it comes to feelings and relationships she´d to be the one setting the pace. I was ok with that, as long as I got to call her _mine_.

"All I want to know is if I have the right to scratch that waitresses eyes out, if she keeps on looking at you like that?" she glared over her shoulder at the waitress in question. "Or anyone who drools over you for that matter."

I laughed at the expression on her face. "Jealousy suits you, C"

"I´m _not_ jealous," she denied. "I…I just don´t like to share."

"Okay, then. Go for it."

"Huh?"

"Fight over me, C. Stake your claim. Who knows, it might be hot," I winked at her.

"I´m not joking, Jace," she frowned.

"Neither am I. But to answer your question. You don´t have to fight anybody over me, C. If I´m with you, then I´m with you. That´s it." I was purposely vague, but hoped it was enough. "But the same goes for you, though."

She nodded absentmindedly. It was easy to see that she had something else on her mind.

"I want to ask you something," she finally said.

"Sure, anything," my curiosity spiked when she hesitantly bit her lip. C´s usually very straight forward.

"It´s about what you said last night… About you being with Aline because you saw my 'mark' on Jordan. What did you mean about that?"

I lifted my arm to the collar of my shirt, stretched it out to show her the bite-mark. "You gave him this."

She widened her eyes questionly. "I bit him, yes…" she shook her head. "What does that have to do with anything?"

"C, we´d slept together before that night, and after every time I had the exact mark. I knew what that meant."

She stared at me. "I´m not sure I follow you, Jace."

I sighed. Why did she have to act so stupid? "Some girls moan or groan, some girls scream, but you my Sweet Cea," I looked deep into her eyes and was rewarded with a slight blush, "you _bite._"

She gasped, chock all over her features. "Oh my god!"

I couldn´t believe it, she really had no idea?

"You thought I had sex with Jordan that night? A week after I spent the night with you?"

"Yeah," I frowned at her.

"How could you think that?" she looked almost betrayed.

"I knew you liked him, C. You´d told me that, and when I saw the bite mark on his neck…"

"You could´ve asked me."

I entwined our fingers together. "Tell me now."

She complied, and when she was done I could only stare at her, my mouth hanging open.

"You mean I let Aline…" I searched for the right word.

"Blow you?" she suggested.

I could feel myself blush. Something I _never_ did. C just snickered.

"Yeah, that… I let her _blow_ me because of that mark and now you´re telling me you bit him only because he _tickled _you? I feel so _dirty._" I shuddered

I never had anything against Aline. She was a good friend and I never understood why C hated her so much. But I never thought of her in _that _way until that night.

She laughed at me. I tried to fight back an answering smile but lost the battle.

I studied her carefully. "We´re good?"

"Yeah," she smiled. "But next time you´ll _ask, _right."

"There will _not _be a next time," I scowled. "The only guy you´ll bite from now on is _me._" I knew I sounded possessive, but just couldn´t help it.

"As long as you treat me right," she joked.

I leant over the table to kiss her and she met me halfway. Her lips felt amazing against mine; she tasted the same she always did, with a hint of coffee to top it off.

When her ringtone sounded I growled at the interruption. I didn´t want to stop kissing her, ever.

"It could be important, you know," she mumbled against my lips.

"Yeah, yeah," I grumbled, "it better be."

"Hi, Si," she answered the phone. "Yeah, Jace is still alive," she rolled her eyes.

I chuckled. Our friends knew _all _about Cs temper.

"If you don´t believe me, come see for yourself," she smiled at something he said. "We´re at that coffee shop a few blocks from... yes, that´s the one. See you soon."

"I guess Simon is coming over?"

She nodded.

I made a face. I liked the guy, but I just wanted to be alone with my girl.

"You´re cute when you pout," she told me.

"I am a man," I pretended to be offended. "A man does not _pout_."

"Aww, baby. I´m sorry. Of course you don´t," she bit her lip so not to laugh.

"How come you get to call me baby? That´s hardly fair."

"Life´s not fair, _baby_."

I changed seats at the table so I was sitting beside her.

"You´re bad, you know that?" I whispered close to her ear, letting my breath tease the soft skin over her neck.

"Yes, I am _baby_, but you like me that way."

"You know I do, C," I pulled her close to me, silencing her with a kiss.

"Gah," an annoying voice interrupted us. "I think I liked it better when you were fighting," Simon had arrived.

"Go away, Simon," C whined.

I took advantage of her open mouth to deepen the kiss, caressing her tongue with my own. She complied for a second or two before she pushed me away.

"Behave," she pointed a finger at me with mock stern.

"So where's my sister," I asked the man who sat down in front of us.

"Izzy has a hangover, which turns my beautiful, sweet, caring fiancé in to Achmed the dead terrorist," Simon looked pained.

"Huh?" C looked confused by the analogy.

"You know; Silence! I kill you!"

"Ah, good thing I´m not like that then."

I winced, knowing I would get kicked in the ass if I answered.

"Maybe not when you´re hung-over," Simon muttered while taking a sip of her coffee.

"What´s _that _supposed to mean?" she glared at the both of us.

And the day started so great, ah well. "You know very well that you can be a bit...temperamental, at times, C."

She huffed at that, but stayed quiet.

Huh?

Simon's eyes bulged. "You´re not mad at him?" skepticism colored his voice.

"Nah," the relaxed look on her face made me nervous. "He´s right."

Trying to act like nothing was out of the ordinary I fixed my eyes on the red and white tablecloth and pretended to be engrossed by my breakfast.

"You´re scaring me, Clary." I had to agree with him there.

Why was she acting like this? Where was my fiery, hot woman?

"Don´t be stupid, Simon," she took a sip of her coffee.

"So that´s it? You´re... whatever... and you stop fighting?"

Her lips tilted in a sexy half smile. "Hell no" We´ll fight, and make up, and probably fight again."

Simon gagged.

"Then why aren´t you biting my head off, right now?" I had to ask.

"Don´t worry. I´ll punish you later," she winked.

"That´s it. I´d rather take Izzys wrath, than listen to you two being..."

"Yes?" I raised my eyebrow at him while pulling C closer to my side. "Being...what?"

"_Nice,_" it sounded like a curse. Before I had time to say anything his phone buzzed. "Yay," he looked miserable. I chuckled against Cs hair. "It´s Achmed... Hey, sweetie. Feeling better?"

Ignoring the poor guy I turned my attention back to C, my face still buried in her hair. I pushed it back, exposing her neck and kissed a trail leading up to her ear. When I carefully nibbled at her lobe she rewarded me with a low moan.

"I thought I told you to behave," she hissed.

"But you don´t want me to," I smiled.

"Hey, guys. _Cut it out_." Simon whined again.

I sighed and turned to face him. "What did my dear sister want?"

"She´s having a Halloween party, and wanted to know if it was safe to invite you," he shrugged. "I told her that it never was a good idea to have the two of you under the same roof, and that this _disturbing _new development made it even worse. But of course she didn´t listen to me."

C glared at him. "What´s that supposed to mean?"

He flinched under her stare. "You know...the two of you...you know."

He gave me a look, clearly asking for help. "No way, you´re on your own."

"Fine. But Clary, I swear to god; if you hurt me I´ll send Izzy after you," he placed his hands flat on the table and leant forward. I was impressed, people usually backed away when C looked at them like that. "You fight _all _the time. We´re never sure how a night with you´re going to end. And _now_ you´ve decided to add sex to the mix."

Not many people knew about how long we´d this on and off thing going.

"It´ll be even worse," Simon continued. "God, I´m afraid just _thinking_ about how you´ll deal with jealousy."

"That won't be a problem," C said, and I nodded my agreement.

"Ah, you poor deluded bastards," Simon looked like he wanted to say more but decided against it. "Clary, Izzy will call you and discuss costume options and Jace...my condolence. See ya."

We finished our breakfast in silence and walked hand in hand back to my apartment. Man, this PDA shit was addictive.

We stayed in that evening, not in the mood for company. And taking in to consideration how quiet our phones were they felt the same way.

"So, what costume are you wearing to the party," I asked when we were snuggling on the couch, watching The Avengers.

"Sch, Jace. I wanna watch this," she said, not taking her eyes of the screen.

"Come on, we´ve seen it like fifty times already," I kissed her shoulder and moved slowly upward along her neck, taking extra care not to miss a single spot on my way. "Naughty schoolgirl? Naughty maid? Naughty nurse? I´ll be okay with whatever you chose, as long as it´s something naughty."

She pushed me away, still watching the movie. I didn´t let that stop me; I just flicked her hair to the side and started nibbling on her ear.

"Jace, cut it _out_," she couldn´t hide the slight tremble in her voice. "If you wanted to make out to a movie you shouldn´t choose one I like. Anything with Channing Tatum or Christian Bale would be great. With the possible exception of The Dark Knight, but that´s only because I like Heath Ledger."

"Just tell me what you´ll be wearing and I´ll leave you alone," my fingers slipped under her shirt and caressed the soft skin of her stomach.

"No! It´ll be a surprise. Now, can you _please_ control yourself? I want to watch this. We got time for the other stuff later."

I reluctantly did as I was told and soon got caught up in the movie as well. With just a few comments about which Hulk was better or if Thor washed his hair _at all_ we were quiet until the end.

When it was over C turned to me with a wicked grin.

"I haven´t forgotten about your punishment."

_YES!_


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: So, yesterday sucked in every way imaginable. I´ll do my best when it comes to updates, but I can´t promise anything.**

**Sorry**

**Disclaimer: I don´t own anything… You know the drill**

Chapter six

Jpov

It was the night of the party, and I was not in a good mood.

I´d barely seen C this week. First she told me she wouldn´t be that girl who spends every night at her boyfriends place. When I tried to change her mind she stormed off in a fit of rage, but more than made up for it the next day.

I managed to persuade her to stay over on Wednesday, but she was gone before I got home from work the next day, and I hadn´t seen her since.

And then Izzy came up with small excuses to occupy all of Cs time. First it was a costume dilemma, than came decoration issues, and then the question of serving food or not.

Luckily C had stopped her from cocking anything. Just the thought of Izzys food made me nauseated.

I´d been looking forward to tonight. Hoping for some time alone with my girl before we had to get ready, but Izzy beat me to it and asked C to get dressed at the house. And here I thought siblings were supposed to have each other's back. C better not be dressed up like some life-size Barbie doll, or there would be hell to pay.

I felt like an idiot, waiting for the door to open. But, Izzy had _rules_. If you weren´t there when the party started, you had to ring the bell. I´d lived in this house for almost twelve years for crying out loud.

Alec and Magnus greeted me at the door, both of them dressed as different versions of Prince Charming.

"Jace," Magnus took in my leather pants, black wife beater and leather jacket, "I see you dressed up as Spike! Your mood seems to fit as well. Good for you."

"Spike?!" I had no idea what he was talking about.

"Yes, you know; that broody vampire from Buffy."

I drew a blank. "Huh?"

"You mean Angel, Mags," Alec corrected him. "Spike is the one with the bleached blond hair.

"Oh, yes. I can´t remember the difference. Hot vampires all look the same after a while," Magnus smiled lovingly.

Alec put his arm around his boyfriend and affectingly smoothed out his already perfect hair. "I don´t think Jace dressed up at all."

"Oh? Well, that´s disappointing."

"Have you seen C?" I said, not wanting to listen to them any longer.

"No…" Alec sounded strange. But Izzy´s by the bar, ask her."

"See you around guys."

There were a lot of people here already, but I´d no problem locating the bar. The fact that the house was so big helped, and of course that I used to live here.

On my way over I caught several girls checking me out, but ignored them. There was only _one _girl for me.

Izzy was mixing up a couple of drinks when I reached her; I noticed Cs signature Cap ´n coke and knew that she couldn´t be far away.

"Nice costume, sis. The role of Wicked Witch of the West suites you perfectly," she wore a black knee length dress, black knee-high boots and the outfit was topped off with a black wizards hat.

"I look awesome, as usual. What´re you supposed to be? One of the casts from a bad high school movie?"

"Whatever. Where´s she?" I felt that everyone was trying to keep me away from C, and I was tired of it.

"She´ll be done soon. Relax, have fun," she handed me a drink. "You do remember what that´s like, right?"

"I don´t want to have fun, I want my girlfriend." I knew how that sounded, but was too annoyed to care.

"Drink this first. She´ll be down any minute now." She squealed, "You´re going to _love _her costume. Simon!" she called out to her boyfriend, "Tell Jace he´s going to love Clarys costume."

"I rather not," Simon looked uncomfortable in his poorly fitted Gladiator getup.

"Izzy, could you or your flying monkey over there," I nodded at Simon, "please just tell me where C is."

Suddenly I could hear the appreciative murmurs of the guys behind me. I closed my eyes and pitched the bridge of my nose.

_Crap._

"Never mind. I think I know where she is."

I walked slowly to the bottom of the stairs, where practically every gay at the party started to gather. I was almost afraid of what I was going to see.

I looked up and realized why Alec and Simon sounded so strange. This was even worse than anything I could´ve imagined.

She was wearing my Iron Maiden t-shirt, and a pair of high heeled slippers that vaguely reminded me of the Cinderella shoes Izzy had as a kid, her hair was ruffled up to look as if she just woke up after a night of hot sex.

The way the shirt fell off her shoulder showed everyone here that she weren´t wearing a bra.

She looked amazing, and it was obvious that I wasn´t the only one who thought so.

Her face brightened with a smile and she ran down towards me and threw herself in my arms.

"I´ve missed you, Jace," she whispered and tilted her head up for a kiss.

I avoided her kiss and gripped her shoulders firmly.

" . . ?" I said through gritted teeth, punctuating every word.

"Don´t you like it?" she sounded disappointed.

"What the hell are you supposed to be?" I fought to keep the anger out of my voice, but lost.

"I´m 'bedtime'", she worried her bottom lip between her teeth, looking anxious. "Why are you so upset? I thought you would like it."

"Bedtime?" I stared at her incredulously. "Every guy in this place is looking at you right now, picturing you in _their _bed, and you´re wondering why I´m _upset_?"

"What does it matters what others think? Girls undress you with their eyes _all the time_, you don´t see me freaking out about that."

She really didn´t get it. "That´s not the same thing."

"Like _hell _it isn´t," C looked furious.

"C, be reasonable. Just go change, I´ll wait here for you, ok."

She reached up and winded her fingers in my hair, tugged my head down to hers and gave me the most intoxicating kiss imaginable. When she let me go I had to rearrange my pants in order to release some of the pressure between my legs.

"You have two choices, Jace. You can be proud that even though other guys fantasies about me _you´re_ the one I´m with, or you could be a jealous ass, who tries to control his girlfriend," our little argument had attracted our friend's attention, "Which of these options do you think will be going home alone?" she pushed past me with those parting words and went straight to the bar.

_Crap._

I went to follow her, but a hand on my arm stopped me.

"Don´t, Jace," Alecs voice had an urgent tint to it. "Let her cool down, tell her she looks fantastic and then enjoy the rest of your evening."

"How can I enjoy it when _every _guy here is drooling over her?"

Alec tightened his grip on me. "Do as she said," he nodded to where C stood, sipping her drink. "Be proud that when this night is over she´ll be going home with you. Show these losers who she belongs to, in a non-caveman fashion."

I hated to admit it, but he had a point.

I nodded slowly, looked over at C and wondered how long I would have to wait before I could apologize.

"I won't ruin your night, Alec. I´ll back off."

"Thanks," he smiled. "Now come on. Let´s get something to drink, and then you can beg for forgiveness.

I sat down a little farther away from C when we reached the bar, trying to give her the space she needed. That was easier said than done.

It didn´t take long before she was surrounded by what can only be described as a pack of drooling mutts.

I stayed where I was, but kept my eye on them.

Izzy gave me a worried glance, but I shook my head at her unspoken question. I wouldn´t make another scene.

Besides, this wasn´t anything new to me. Wherever we went guys seemed to gravitate towards her, like the famous moth to the flame.

If women undressed me with their eyes, guys practically _fucked_ her with theirs. I decided to wait it out, because god knows that C could handle herself.

I almost pitied her suitors when she rolled her eyes at them. I reached for a beer and felt a hand curling itself around my bicep.

"Long time no see, Lightwood," a throaty voice mumbled against my ear.

I turned around and grinned at the black-haired beauty, dressed as wonder woman. "Well hallo, Aline," I gave her a one-armed hug. "How you been?"

"I´m good," she smiled. "How about you?"

I glanced at C and was met by her icy stare. I turned back to my old friend with a broad smile. "Oh, you know me. I´m always great."

Aline looked over to the crowed next to us, "I see Clary´s entertaining the troops, as usual."

"Yup," I popped the p.

"It doesn´t bother you? You would always look ready to explode, whenever that happened. What changed? Are you finally over her?"

Neither of us noticed that we were approached by a furious redhead.

"Oh, no, Aline. He´s _under_ me," every word was coated with venom. Aline, who clearly didn´t know what was best for her, just laughed.

"I see you finally opened your eyes. I´m happy for you."

C glared at her and pointed at the fading mark on my neck. "See, he´s _mine_. . .Off."

"Oh, sweetheart," I was beginning to think that Aline was suicidal. Her condescending tone made C stiffened and clench her fist, ready to strike. "He was _always_ yours."

Her words made C pause. "What´s that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing, sweetheart."

I wrapped my arms around Cs waist, both because I wanted to feel her against me and as a restraint, if she decided to snap.

"The reason I came over here was to introduce you to someone," she looked at a girl dressed as Catwoman whom waited patiently a few feet away and waved her over.

"Jace, this is Helen, my girlfriend. Baby, this is Jace, an old friend." I shook her hand and smiled at Cs chocked expression, her mouth hanging open.

I knew about Alines sexual orientation, but never told anyone about it, not even C.

"It´s nice to meet you, Helen. This is my girlfriend, Clary," I liked how the word sounded. _Girlfriend_.

"Hi," C said meekly, "nice to meet you."

Izzy and Simon walked up to us as the girls walked over to the make-shift dance floor.

C hid her face at the crook of my neck; I cupped the back of her head and ran my fingers through her hair.

"Well…," Simon hesitated, "that went…ok, I guess."

"Yeah, way to stake a claim, Clary. For a moment there I thought you would mark your territory peeing on him."

I rolled my eyes at that, but on the inside I was whooping with joy. I put my two fingers under Cs chin and made her look me in the eyes. "You can pee on me _anytime_."

Her eyes widened. "That is so gross, Jace."

I laughed. "You know what I mean."

"Well, well, look at the two of you," Magnus walked over to us, his right hand entwined with Alecs. "Acting all mature, for a change. I was sure you were going to be all Hoganish," he nodded at me.

As usual I had no idea what he was talking about.

"I think you mean _Hulkish_, love," Alec corrected her boyfriend.

We laughed at that, finally starting to relax.

When I met the eyes of my siblings and their significant others I felt their relief so strongly that I almost thought I could touch it.

I realized how worried they´d been that we would have a fight.

I promised myself, that they would never have to feel like that again. I didn´t delude myself into thinking that, because we were together, we wouldn´t fight anymore. I didn´t want that.

I loved our fights. I loved the exhilarating feeling of going head to head with C. I loved the way she sometimes stomped her foot when she fought against using violence on me, I loved…_her._

_Crap._


	8. Chapter 8

**I was asked to write the eulogy (is that the right word?) to my sisters' funeral, so I won't be posting as much as before.**

**I´ll do my best though.**

**I don´t own anything, but you already knew that.**

Chapter 7

Cpov

It was five days before Christmas and not even being dragged around the mall by Izzy could put a damper on my mood.

These last few weeks, ever since Halloween, had been perfect.

Thinking back to the night after the party still caused heat to flush my cheeks.

Jace made me scream his name, over and over again. It was safe to say I hadn´t bitten him since.

Everything was amazing between us. We still fought, but only about small, stupid things. Like who was more badass, Tony Stark or Bruce Wayne? Tony Stark, obviously. Or who would win in a fight, Magneto or Wolverine? I still held Wolverine close to my heart.

But we liked it that way. We liked the fighting, and the making up part. I blushed again.

"I don´t even want to know what´s on your mind right now," Izzy sounded disgusted.

"I was only thinking about the gift I got for Jace," I assured her.

"Yeah, yeah. I hope he´ll like the underwear Simon and I bought for him."

"I don´t think that the bra and thong is his style," I frowned. "And I´m not really interested in seeing him ware them either."

"Don´t be stupid," Izzy gave me a somewhat condescending look. "You´re the one that´s going to wear them."

"Then why not give them to me?"

"Of the two of you, who do you think will enjoy them more?"

I giggled, "I see your point."

"It´s Izzy logic. The only sane logic there is."

I snorted at that and made my way to the food court. I was in need of a sugar rush; three hours of shopping will do that to you. I ordered a coffee with milk and lots of sugar. I usually preferred it black, but today I decided to indulge, I also picked out a large brownie, Izzy settled for only a sprite.

"It´s going to be great," she talked about Christmas Eve, which we decided to spend t Jaces apartment. "Just the six of us. We´ll eat, exchange gifts and talk. Just like old times."

When we were kids we had a sleepover at the Lightwoods every Christmas eve. The same thing every year. Just Simon, Jace, Alec, Izzy and me, until high school when Alec met Magnus, then he joined us to.

"And this year will be the first time we´re all _together_, together," I agreed with her. Christmas Eve was my favorite day of the year. "Even though I´m going to miss the huge fireplace, I´m glad to have the dinner at our place."

"First of all; _together_, together? Are you going to ask me if Jace _likes you_, likes you?" she giggled at her own joke. "And second; 'our place', wow, you must really be getting serious."

I blushed at my so called Freudian slip. "I didn´t…I mean…I spend most nights there, and have lots of stuff…Oh, _shut up_."

Izzy watched me closely. "Do you _want_ to move in with him?"

I snorted. "Of course not, that would make this…"

"What? Serious? A relationship?" she hesitated. "Lo…?"

"No," I snapped. "We don´t want to move to fast."

"Maybe you don´t. But have you thought about what Jace wants?"

"I know what Jace wants."

"I wouldn´t be so sure about that."

I lay awake that night, watching Jace sleep and thinking about what Izzy said.

Did I want to move in with Jace?

No, of course not. And he didn´t want me living here, either.

Jace was a neat-freak, why would he want all my stuff cluttering up his apartment?

But a small part of me – a very, very small part – liked falling asleep and waking up next to him.

Ugh, was I really turning in to one of _those _girls.

I shimmied away from his arm, suddenly needing space. His peaceful expression turned into a frown and he reached out for me. I backed away from his arm until I couldn´t get any farther.

I cared more about Jace, than I thought possible, but right now I couldn´t stand his touch. First I needed to be sure that I was still me, that I wasn´t turning in to something that I despised.

I closed my eyes, trying to force the thoughts away from my mind, so I never noticed when he opened his eyes.

"What´s wrong, C? Why are you all the way over there?" he reached out for me again, and this time I let him pull me closer.

"I couldn´t sleep, and I didn´t want to disturb you," I whispered. He kissed me on my temple. "You should get some sleep, Jace. It´s Christmas in a few days. It´ll be a lot of work getting it set up here. We need a tree, decorations, food…"

He interrupted me with a kiss that mad my toes curl.

"Don´t worry. I´ll take care of everything."

I nodded, knowing he couldn´t see me in the darkness, the worries slowly slipping away.

My fingers played with his bellybutton, making him gasp.

A minute ago I just wanted to get away and now I couldn´t get close enough. I wanted to feel him all over me, desperate to chase away any remaining fears of the future.

When our breathing finally started to slow down I could feel myself drifting off into a dreamless sleep.

"Wow," I stared with wide eyes at the dramatic change to the living room. "You´ve really outdone yourself this time."

The couch and the two borrowed loveseats were rearranged to stand in a half circle around the large flat screen where a fake fire blazed. Mistletoe hung over the kitchen door and the aroma coming from there was mouthwatering.

But the best part was the tree. It wasn´t the biggest Christmas tree I´d ever seen, not even the most beautiful, but with the popcorn and cranberries strings combined with the twinkle of the lights and the small silver angel on top made it look like something out of a fairytale, at least to me.

Jace came up from behind, put his arms around me and kissed the top of my head. "It was nothing, really."

"How can you say that?" I asked, incredulously. "You practically transformed the whole place, you…" then it hit me, I turned around and looked at him, "you got help from your mom, didn´t you?"

"Well, I wouldn´t so much call it help, as…" he stopped, looking for the right words.

"She did the whole thing, didn´t she?"

"I´m not going to answer that." He pouted slightly, looking adorable.

"You're utterly hopeless."

"Yeah, yeah. Come help me with the food. She wrote down instructions and all, but I can´t get the stupid oven to work."

He sounded so frustrated that I couldn´t help but laugh at him. "What would you do without me?"

"Starve, apparently," he replied and dragged me to the kitchen. I showed him patiently how everything worked and was finished in time for a shower and change before our friends would arrive.

We checked on the food one last time, he pulled me to a stop in the doorway on our way to living room.

"We can´t let that go to waste," he nodded to the mistletoe above our heads.

"You know these are deadly, right?" I couldn´t help but tease him.

He pulled me close to him, "A kiss could be just as deadly, if you mean it," he whispered against my lips.

"Did you just quote Batman Returns?" Simon interrupted us. We hadn´t heard the door open. "I´m _totally_ rubbing off on you."

"Go away, Simon," Jace groaned. "I was about to get lucky."

I pressed myself even closer to him, "If you promise to play nice, I´ll promise that you´ll get _very _lucky later."

"Eww," Izzy whined. "If you´re going to be gross all night we´ll leave."

"No, we will not," Magnus said. "I will not miss the food or the presents."

I looked over at my friends and admired their clothes. Alec was handsome, as usual, with a pinstriped jacket, white shirt and black slacks. His sister looked beautiful in a red long-sleeved, velvet dress that ended below her knees. Even Simon wore a suit. No, wait; it was just suit _pants_, with a t-shirt that had a jacket and tie-print on it. Magnus was dressed in all black, except his hair that had a red and white shine to it.

"I see you have returned to your more _sparkly_ self," Jace sounded amused.

"Well, it´s Christmas. I thought it would look festive."

"Don´t tease him, Jace," I chided him. "He looks handsome, doesn't he Alec?"

Alec gave his boyfriend a look with so much caring that I had to turn away. "He always looks handsome."

It seemed impossible to think that Alec had ever been shy or closed off. He really blossomed after meeting Magnus.

"The food should be ready," Jace said. "So eat first and then…."

"Presents," Izzy jumped up and down like a little girl.

We sat down at the table and enjoyed our home cooked meal.

"_God_," Simon groaned, lying face down on one of the borrowed loveseats. "Why didn´t you stop me from eating so much."

"You´re such a _girl_," Izzy complained while patting him gently on the back.

"Don´t call him that," I said, offended. "I ate more than him and _I´m_ fine."

"Yeah, well some of us doesn´t have a black hole for a stomach," he retorted.

"You´re just jealous that I can eat what I want without gaining much, if any weight."

"What? You´re calling me _fat_?"

I looked over at his skinny frame, stretched out on the loveseat. "If the shoe fits."

"I´m _not _fat."

"Now, now, children," Magnus chided us. "No fighting or mommy and daddy will take away your presents."

"Does that make you our dad?" Simon asked. "Or mom?"

"I´m the dad, obviously. Does it look like this amazing body," he gestured at himself, "have been ruined by childbirth?"

"Hey!" Alec said. "And mine does?"

"Of course not, love," Magnus kissed his boyfriend on the cheek. "They're _obviously _adopted."

"Good, I was afraid that I was engaged to my nephew," Izzy quipped.

"Yeah, because _that´s_ what´s wrong with that scenario," Jace sounded disgusted.

"What?" Alec turned to him, "You don´t think we would make good parents?"

"Of course not, you idiot," Jace sighed. "I can´t think of two people who would make better parents than you guys. And that´s why I got trouble with him being your son," he looked at Simon. "You could never screw up a kid _that _bad."

"Hey!" Simon complained. Jace raised an eyebrow and continued to stare at him. "Yeah, you´re probably right," he admitted.

"You can´t be _that_ bad," Izzy comforted him. "You got me, didn´t you?"

"Izzy, don´t make the boy feel worse," Alec scolded her, and then smiled.

I just sat there, mostly quiet, listening to my friends bickering. I was surrounded by the people that meant the world to me. I was happy.

But deep inside I still worried about the future.

Magnus would propose to Alec tonight, I had helped him picking out the ring, Izzy and Simon was already engaged. But I liked Jace and me the way we were. He was mine, and I was his. I could see that the other couples really…I had to force myself to even think it… _loved _each other. But I didn´t know if I was capable of that. I didn´t want to be.

Jace took my hand in his entwining our fingers together. I lifted our hands to my lips and kissed his knuckles, one at a time.

I didn´t need to think about the future today. I had _now_.

We opened our gifts, the sound of crisp paper and the occasional whoop filled the room.

Jace looked insanely happy over Izzy and Simons gift, I gave Simon a t-shirt with _Gamers take it to a whole new level_ printed on it, Izzy was ecstatic over a weekend shopping trip to London from Magnus and Alec, the gift certificate to a spa from Jace was highly appreciated by Magnus. I gave Jace a collection of Channing Tatum and Christian Bale movies, knowing he would understand and he gave me a charm bracelet with seven charms; the number fourteen – that´s how many years we´d known each other, a C – for the first letter of my name and his nickname for me, a grapefruit – for my favorite body wash, a paintbrush – for my art interest, a Captain Morgan head and a small coke bottle – for my favorite drink and a miniature Wolverine – for my favorite Marvel character.

And then it was time for Magnus' gift to Alec.

He took Alecs' hands in his own and looked deep into his boyfriends' eyes.

"Alec, my love, we´ve known each other for five years now and…" his voice broke, "no, I´m good," he said when Alec tried to comfort him. "Please Alec, just sit down and listen." He took a deep breath and continued. "I never thought I would meet someone whom I could laugh with, cry with and just be happier than I ever thought possible. Alec, I want to spend the rest of my life killing spiders for you, will you marry me?"

Alec looked speechless and then threw himself in to his boyfriend's arms, crying, "Yes, yes, yes."

"Oh, my god," Izzy cried. "That´s the most beautiful proposal I´ve ever heard," she smacked Simon over the head. "Why can´t you be romantic like that?"

"I thought I _was _romantic."

"Spelling out 'will you marry me' while playing Scrabble is _not _romantic, Si," Izzy scowled.

"Why did you say yes than?" he asked and kissed her lightly on the lips.

Even though I´d heard every word of their conversation my sole focus was on Magnus and the look on his face when he slipped the ring on Alecs' finger.

I hadn´t realized that I was crying until I felt Jace wipe away my tears with gentle strokes of his fingers. He had a strange look in his eyes, one I´d never seen before. As if he saw the question in my eyes he smiled and kissed me on my nose.

Izzy and Simon stopped bickering and went to get wine so we could toast to the happy couple.

"What made you fall in love with my brother?" Izzy asked and cocked her head, watching Alec carefully. Because I don´t see it."

"His courage, his compassion, his loyalty," Magnus shook his head. "I could go on all night. "How about you? What is it about Simon that you love?"

"The way he always let me win when we play board games," she smiled at her fiancé.

"And you, Simon?" Alec asked.

"When I realized that she thought I _let _her win." We all laughed at that.

No one asked Jace or me that question. I didn´t need the slightly awkward tension in the room to understand that it was intentional.

"Simon," I asked to change the subject, "who was your first _real _kiss?"

"Maia Roberts," he blushed under my glare, "sorry."

"Eww," Izzy squealed. "Mine was Meliorn."

"That weird foreign exchange student? The one who always wore a fanny pack?" Jace fake shuddered. "Yeah, _that´s _better."

I snickered. "How about you Magnus?"

"Wolsey Scott," he answered and turned to his fiancé "How about you, love?"

Alec blushed, "Clary," everyone, but me, stared at him, chock evident on their faces. "_What_? I was experimenting."

Their eyes turned to me. "Same for me," I said, "Alec, I mean."

I couldn´t help but blush, embarrassed by their stares.

"How come none of us knew this?" Izzy asked the question on everybody's mind.

"Maybe I don´t kiss and tell?" I shrugged.

"But Alec _does_," Izzy exclaimed.

"_I do not_," Alec huffed, offended.

"Like hell you don´t," Jace chuckled. "Five minutes after your first kiss with Magnus and you were shouting it from the rooftops."

"You did?" Magnus looked pleased by that knowledge.

"But that was different," Alec protested. "Magnus didn´t belong to someone else."

"Neither did I," I said, confused.

Four pair of eyes looked away from me all of a sudden.

"Do you remember the snowball fights we used to have every Christmas Eve?" Izzy asked, to get rid of the uncomfortable tension.

I couldn´t understand what was going on, bet decided to let it go for the time being.

"Yeah, I remember," I turned to Jace. "You were such an ass. Always putting snow down my shirt."

"Hey, I was just trying to cop a feel," he said it like it explained everything. And for a guy it probably did.

"Yeah, Jace has always been an ass," Ale laughed. "And Christmas always made him a little crazy."

"Shut up, Alec," Jace hissed through gritted teeth.

Alec continued as if he didn´t hear him. "Every year, he used to spend _months_ looking perfect

Present for you. He dragged us to every mall in a five mile radius. _Twice_. Even drove Izzy crazy."

"Wow Jace, is that true," I looked at him in wonder.

"No," he grumbled, than sighed. "Yes."

"Why go to so much trouble?"

"Well, I was afraid you´d hurt me if you didn´t like it," he grinned.

"Ass."

"Yup," popping the p. "And that´s why you lo…" he caught himself "…like me"

I kissed him softly on the lips, ignoring the pang in my chest because of what he almost said

**So, what do you think so far? Review please.**


	9. Chapter 9

**Hi again, so I thought I would make this chapter a bit more…hrm….detailed… **

**Enjoy**

**And I don´t own the characters, just my dirty mind =)**

Chapter 8

Cpov

They stayed for a couple more hours.

Jace decided to leave the dishes for tomorrow. It surprised me; he was usually such a neat-freak.

We undressed and got into bed, I never borrowed his shirts anymore, preferred to sleep naked like he did.

He pulled me towards him and kissed me with a desperation I´d never felt before. I lost my ability to breathe when he laid his body flush against mine; his skin was so hot, like he had a fever.

Then more aching need flooded me as he caressed my breasts and his finger slid over the sensitive buds.

His skilled hands and that taut, muscled body against mine sent my desire to a level of desperation, close to his. I pulled his head down and crushed my lips to his, thrusting my tongue in his mouth. An appreciative growl sounded before he sucked on it and then ravaged my mouth with kisses hard enough to bruise.

I moaned in protest when he pulled away, but he gripped my arms to keep me from seeking his lips again.

"Open your legs, C"

My heart beat faster at the command, yet I didn´t hesitate. Jaces' gaze lit me on fire as he stared at me while I spread my legs. He lowered himself between them, his thick, throbbing flesh hot against my inner thigh. Then he reached down and I closed my eyes, wanting him so much.

Instead of the expected thrust, his finger slid inside of me, stroking with erotic ruthlessness. Pleasure flashed through me like a lightning bolt, arching my back and making me cry out his name. Jace lowered his head and closed his mouth over my nipple, sucking so powerfully that another cry escaped my lips. His finger started to slide in and out, with a rhythm that mixed my cries with increasingly rapid gasps.

I moaned without thinking, lifted my hips in time to his hand and held his head to my breast. Wetness slicked the finger that circled my nub with firm, unyielding strokes.

Starbursts of sensation went off inside of me, making me rake my nails down his back. I couldn´t think past the tension growing with every intimate touch and greedy pull from his mouth.

Over my gasps and moans, I could her Jaces' roughly seductive voice, but I had no idea what he said.

His mouth descended between my legs, at the same time he caressed my breasts, those strong fingers squeezing my nipples with exactly the right amount of pressure.

My back arched and his name hoarsely left my lips as his tongue swirled before probing with deep, mind-blowing flicks. He used the same addictive strokes when he kissed me, but these were firmer, faster.

My hips rose, seeking more. His fingers tightened on my breasts while his tongue moved even faster within my depths, I couldn´t stop writhing underneath his mouth, all control gone, my gasps turned into something very close to sobs. My inner muscles clenched with every new stroke, sending shattering sensations through me. _Yes, yes, just a little more_.

Then his mouth was gone, and I let out a choked noise of frustration. Jaces' smile was almost cruel as he rose up, his hips sliding between my legs.

"Not yet. I want to be inside you first."

Then he thrust forward, that hot, thick flesh causing me to scream his name. He moved deeper, filling me completely, I whimpered and his mouth slanted over mine, swallowing my cry as he sheathed himself to the hilt.

Intense pleasure exploded throughout my body. Having him fully inside was too much and not enough at the same time. I returned the kiss, panting in his mouth as he began to move with slow, hard strokes.

The pleasure increased, edged with slivers of pain that made everything more, just _more_. Soon I moved under Jaces' body the way I´d moved under his mouth, gripping his hips with a desperate hunger. My gasps turned into cries, but I couldn´t stop those any more than I could stop writhing beneath the incredible ecstasy of his increasingly harder thrusts.

_Yes. Please. Jace, yes_.

His grip tightened on my hips before he began to thrust so fast, that I soon culminated in a climax unlike any I´d ever experienced. My loins convulsed over and over, sending shards of bliss throughout my body until every part of me tingled and vibrated.

Jaces' grip turned to steel, his back arching and a harsh groan left his lips. Then he thrust so forcefully that I cried out, but it immediately turned into a moan at the new spasms. He ground against me while his orgasm pulsed inside me like hot honey.

After a kiss that stole the rest of my breath from me, Jace rolled to his side, pulled me against him and buried his face in my neck.

"I love you. I´m sorry, I love you."

The world shattered into millions of pieces around me.

**So, what did you think? Short, I know =/**

**And, yes, I **_**had **_**to use the word loins =)**


	10. Chapter 10

**This was fast… Closing in on the finish line… Not long now…**

**Of course CC owns the characters… We all know this by now**

Chapter 9

Jpov

I knew what a huge mistake I´d made the second the words left my mouth.

The following days were the worst I´d ever experienced, even worse than when C said Jordan's name, after our night together.

She was slowly pulling away from me, she tried to act normal during daytime, but it was obvious that something was wrong.

She talked, laughed and did everything the same as always, but her heart wasn´t in it. The fire that made her C was gone.

I tried to pick a fight with her, just to get a reaction, _any _reaction. But…nothing.

The _only _time I got through to her was in the bedroom. There she responded to every touch, every kiss.

I could feel that I was losing her, and that scared me more than anything ever had.

A part of me badly wanted to take everything back. To tell her that I didn´t mean it. But I couldn´t. I did mean it. Always had.

New Year's Eve came and went. We went to a party, of course, but it was all a blur to me. I´m sure we had fun, but I couldn´t remember anything at all.

Everything seemed to get worse on the beginning of the new year.

We still talked, but as soon as our conversations even came close to talks of the future – hell, even planning out the upcoming weekend – she would kiss me and we ended up in bed.

I tried to resist her, I really did. But I´d been in love with her longer than I´d been alive, how was I supposed to say no to her.

Everything came to a culmination the first Friday in February.

C wanted to go out with Izzy, just the girls. And even though I wasn´t happy about it, what could I do? I wanted desperately for her to get back to her old self, so I let her do anything she wanted.

About an hour after she left I got a text from Izzy.

**{Come to Pandemonium! Now! I}**

Izzy met me at the door when I arrived to the club. She looked worried and, I swear, she was even biting her nails.

"What´s wrong, Iz?" I asked, even more anxious now after seeing the expression on her face. "Something happened? Is it C?"

She looked down at the tip of her boots. "What´s going on with the two of you?" she asked, without answering my questions. "I thought you were going strong, but Clary´s not acting like she has a boyfriend tonight."

"What are you talking about?" I asked, a chill running down my spine.

She let her shoulder drop in defeat. "Come, see for yourself."

_Nothing_ had prepared me for what I found.

She was on the dance floor, surrounded by three guys. They were dancing, or more like grinding against each other. Hell, in my mind it looked like they were about to engage in an orgy, right then and there. They had there filthy hands all over her, and she looked like she was enjoying their attention.

I didn´t thing, hell I _couldn´t _think, I just walked over to them and pulled C away from their groping fingers.

"Hey," one of the guys complained, "she´s with us. Get your own girl."

"She _is _my girl," I snapped.

The guy started backing away, "Sorry, dude, we didn´t know."

Ignoring her protest I threw her over my shoulder and walked out of there. I didn´t stop until we reached the alley behind the club. I put her down but placed my hands firmly on her shoulders.

"Why?" All the pain and confusion I had felt these last month was in that single word.

She just shook her head, refusing to look at me.

"Fuck, C! Just talk to me!" I scream at her, unable to control myself.

She looked at me then, and for the first time in two month there were actual feelings in her eyes. The sorrow in them broke my heart.

A single teardrop slid down her pale face. "I couldn´t… I can´t be what you want me to be, Jace."

My heart stopped, or it felt like it did. This was it, everything I´d feared since Christmas was happening.

"What´s that supposed to mean?" my voice was thick with feelings.

She looked down on the ground again. "I…"

"C, tell me," I begged her. I knew that I sounded like a loser, but I couldn´t help it. "Tell me what I did wrong?"

"You told me you love me," her voice was barely a whisper, but I heard every word.

I felt like I got punched in the chest. The pain was making my knees wobble and I was afraid that I would fall down.

"I tell you that I love you and you go and throw yourself at other guys?" the pain slowly gave way to anger. "How could you _do _that to me? _To us_?"

Anger sparked in her green eyes. "You knew how I felt. You _knew _that I didn´t want love."

"Yeah, I guess I forgot," I turned around and started walking away from her. I was done, I couldn´t take this anymore. If I stayed and tried to convince her I would only end up worse than I was now.

"I knew you lied," she screamed after me. "I knew you didn´t love me. If you did you would stay and fight. Love makes people liars."

"Keep telling yourself that, C," I kept walking, out of her life…

**How much do you hate me now? **


	11. Chapter 11

**Oooookey, yikes, that was some REALLY aggressive reviews, especially from this particular guest…. But you **_**have **_**to understand… She´s believed pretty much **_**all her life **_**that love only hurt the people you claimed to feel this about… She´s scared... Did she do the right thing? Of course not. But she feels like she did, and the way he walked away from her made her even more sure about that… And, if it helps… She was "only" dancing with the guys…**

**Anyway JACY14, this is for you**

**I still don´t own a thing**

Chapter 10

Cpov

I went straight home after Jace left me standing in that alley. I had tried my best to get away from home for years, but now I felt like I deserved to be her. My only escape being Jace after all…

_God, Jace_.

Ever since he told me he loved me, I knew it was the beginning of the end. I´d seen what love did to people all my life, how it slowly destroyed everything good about themselves.

I purposely closed myself off from hem, even though I could tell how much I hurt him. But I thought that it would make the pain more bearable when I lost him…

I was wrong. Every breath felt as if my heart would tear out of my chest. My eyes burned with unshed tears.

I´d lost him and it was all my fault. I lay down on my bed and stared at the ceiling.

I ignored the buzzing of my phone. I didn´t want to talk to anyone, ever again. They would hate me soon, like Jace did.

I had wanted to go to Pandemonium for one reason and one reason only. I had to push him away before we ended up hurting each other like my parents did.

The sound of their angry voices penetrated through the walls to my bedroom. Tears slid down my cheeks, but I did nothing to stop them. Something crashed into the wall and I could hear my mother's cries. I curled into a fetus position.

_That´s_ what love did to people. I couldn´t let that happen to Jace and me. It was better that he hated me now or farther down the road when we were too dependent of each other.

I did this, and would learn to live with the consequences.

A week went by, than two. I didn´t leave my room, not even to eat. Mom would come in with a tray three times a day, then come back to take it back an hour later.

I waited for the pain to lessen, to feel numb. But it never happened.

Everything hurt. Every breath, every heartbeat.

I tried to force myself not to think about him. I even succeeded for short amount of times.

The nights were the worse.

Every feeling I had when awake seemed to double.

I knew this wasn´t something that would get better. I´d destroyed the only thing that mattered to me.

Fifteen days, six hours and forty-five minutes after that night I was in my room trying to drown out the sounds of my arguing parents with music and I came to a soul-crushing realization.

Jace would _never_ treat me like that. Not _once _had he treated me like my father treated me and my mom. Not even during our more horrible fights did I fear him. Even in the midst of screaming and shouting was there a person I trusted more.

So why, why couldn´t I trust him when he told me he loved me?

I got up from my bed for, practically, the first time in two weeks and went to get a shower.

I knew what I had to do.

Jpov

It was four weeks since I left C standing outside of Pandemonium. I could count the minutes and hours as well, but I´m a guy, and guys don´t do that.

Four excruciatingly long weeks.

I wanted to call her, _needed _to know if she was okay, to just hear her voice, but I didn´t. From what I heard none of the others had talked to her either.

I was over at Alec and Magnus' place. They'd forced me to leave my apartment, to get away from everything that reminded me of her.

But I regretted agreeing to it, not even the tequila currently burning a hole in my stomach, made Magnus' singing voice bearable.

When Izzy showed up I ran over to her and threw myself at her feet.

"Thank god, you´re here," I pretended to kiss her boot clad feet.

"What the hell Jace? Are you crazy?" she asked me.

"No. But if I was forced to listen to Magnus bellow out 'I´m a woman, hear me roar' at the top of his lungs _one_ more time, I would´ve been.

She reached out for me and dragged me to my feet. "How´re you feeling?"

"Peachy," I grinned. It´s great being a world-class ass all the time. Makes it easier to hide your feelings.

"Sure you are," skepticism clear in her voice. "I´ve made you muffins." She held out a container with something indefinable in it.

"I´m _not _putting _that_ in my mouth," I backed away from her with my arms raised in front of me.

"That´s what _she _said," Alec snickered behind me.

"No girl has _ever_ said that to _me_," I chuckled, not trying to sound conceited, it was just facts.

"I´m worried about her, Jace," Izzy ignored our banter. "She won't talk to anybody."

I sighed. "I can't care about that anymore, Iz. I just…can´t."

"I get it, Jace…"

"No, I don´t think you do," I interrupted her. "It´s not _you_ she did this to."

"She´s just scared."

"And I´m not?"

"Yeah, but…"

I interrupted her again. "You know what, I´m going home."

Ignoring their shouts I picked up my jacket at the door and left.

I walked around aimlessly for an hour before going home. Even though it killed me to be reminded of C everywhere I looked, it was the reason for me to be there. I could pretend for while that she was still there with me, crazy I know.

So when I opened the door to the apartment and saw her sitting there in the couch I was sure that it was just another one of my imaginations.

"What do you want?" I knew I sounded harsh, but couldn´t care less.

"I want to talk to you," she sounded nervous.

_Good._

"About what exactly? I´m not so sure that we have anything to say to each other."

"What you saw…" she swallowed hard, "…nothing else happened."

"Yeah? Good for you," I walked to the kitchen and started up the coffee maker, desperate for something to do with my hands or I would´ve reached out for her and pulled her into my arms.

"Can I ask you a question?" she followed me.

"I don´t know, can you?" I couldn´t help the snippy answer, but sighed and turned to face her. "Ask away."

"Why do you love me?"

I was momentarily distracted by the casual way she said the word _love._ I´d never heard her say it before.

"What kind of question is that?"

"Please, Jace," she closed her eyes. "I need to know."

"Okay, fine. I love the way you eat chili covered peanuts, with a spoon because you always end up drying your sticky fingers on your clothes, I love the way you season your fries with salt and dill, I love the way you cover your pancakes with butter and strawberry jam, I love the way you stack your books laying facedown, because you can´t stand the difference in size, I love the way you laugh or cry more while reading a book than watching a movie…"

She nodded thoughtfully.

"Those are good reasons, but I only know my own." I opened my mouth to say something, but the look in her eyes mad me close it again. "I got my own apartment now. And I´ve signed up for more classes. I didn´t mean to let you wait for so long, but I had to get everything done before I could tell you this."

"Get what done?" my heart thumped so loud in my chest, that I was sure she could hear it.

She walked up to me and put a slightly shaking hand over my heart, as if to calm it down, but it only got worse. "I had to show you that I need you, but I don´t _need_ you."

I just stared at her, it was like listening to Magnus, nothing made sense. "What?"

"Jace, I´ve always taken care of me, protected me, even from myself at times, and I love you for it," my heart stopped and then started up again, "but I wanted you to know that I can take care of myself now."

I paled, so this was it then. "That´s great, C. If we´re done here…"

"I´m not finished," she interrupted me, "I can take care of myself, Jace, but I still _need_ you."

She was so close that her features were a blur, yet her eyes had never been brighter. I closed mine and it made no difference. I could still she her through the shield of my lids.

"I love you, Jace."

I never knew joy could be a physical sensation, but I wasn´t imagining the wave that swept me from head to toe. My throat contracted, my chest swelled and my fingers tingled. Meanwhile something broken inside of me seemed to snap back into place, and though I didn´t feel it physically, it was just as real, and powerful.

I grabbed her shoulders and crushed her against me, our lips smashing together in the most amazing of all kisses.

I knew we had a lot to talk through, and that not everything would be solved in a heartbeat. But right now I didn´t care.

"I love you too, C."

**So, my own little ranting guest, can you forgive her? Like Jace did? I hope you can =)**


	12. Chapter 12

**This is the last part of the story. I hope you have enjoyed reading it as much as I had writing it. I´ll be posting a new story in a couple of days. It will not be like this one, but the humor will still be there. So keep your eyes out.**

Epilogue

Jpov

Six month later

The sight of C walking down the aisle on Alecs' arm made my heart swell in my chest.

She wore a simple cream-colored floor length dress with long sleeves. She didn´t need an elaborate wedding dress, she looked stunning with her curly, red hair falling down her back.

She´d chosen not to invite her parents, because she thought that they had tainted enough of our lives and didn´t want their constant fighting to ruin our big day.

My mind spun and I couldn´t hear much of the ceremony, but we said our 'I do's' when we were supposed to.

Then I heard the words I´d been waiting for since I was six years old.

"You may kiss the bride."

I put my hand tenderly around her face and pressed my lips lightly to hers. But my C wouldn´t have any of that, she opened her mouth to deepen the kiss.

I was in heaven. I felt fireworks go off all over my body and I pulled her closer.

I didn´t let her go until I heard Alec clear his throat.

Snickers and chuckles echoed in the small chapel at the blush that covered our faces.

We walked into the reception and were met with applauds. I met the eyes of my siblings and their significant others and gave them a grateful smile. Even though they´d been engaged longer than C and I they´d decided to let us get married first, after all we´d waited the longest.

Simon got up on the stage and grabbed the microphone. "And now Mr. and Mrs. Lightwood will lead us in their first dance as a married couple."

We walked hand in hand to the dance-floor and I tucked my wife close to my body.

I was waiting for a waltz, something I learned for this occasion, but when the orchestra started playing something else I couldn´t move at first.

"Is that…? It is!" The sound of Iron Maiden's – That Girl filled the room.

"I wanted you to have everything you ever dreamed about," she smiled softly at me.

I was sure my heart would explode with the love that I felt for this beautiful woman.

"I already do, C. I already do."

**That´s it folks… God, do you realize that I´ve posted 4 times today… NOT what I´d planned… And I hope you realize that this will NOT happen with the next story… Or posts every day… I´ll do my best with once a week, but that´s the best I can do…**

'**Til next time…. =)**


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